You definitly managed to break out of the romances. This is pretty good, um i like the fact that most of it is dialog, you give clues to let the reader know that the kimmy was abused and the reader naturally asumes that david is her brother. i also like that the police said ""You know," the one cop said, "nobody had the guts to stand up for these girls. Without evidence, these guys would keep doing this shit forever."

David looked at him and smiled, "Well, that's just the way of the world. Some people like to stand up on their own two legs and some like to just lay down and get walked on."

and i think that david's reponse is really good. it is really wise. i like it. i think that it is totally up to the reader to inturpt it and everyone will do it differently. i like that.

anyway, it was really well done, but the way that you did it makes me wonder how you would continue the story because you could almost end it on this one chapter. there really isn't anything to keep the reader going, the guy has already been hit and arrested by the cops.

also, i think that you should have added the fact that he had been in the navy in here.:

You know Alex, I should be done kicking your ass by the time the police get here. And who will they believe? That one guy took on 4, and one of them had a knife. Or will they believe that you tried to jump me?"

and also, one last thing, how does the group know that he is a navy dude? i don't understand that becuase i guess he could be wearing the outfit but you don't mention anything like that. so i was wondering.