Reviews for Not Alive
a silenced revolution chapter 1 . 8/14/2007
Just beautiful. I love this:

"A wish glued on a star

Floating billions of miles away

Never to be grasped or even touched"
TeaWithOnions chapter 1 . 8/6/2007
I love the raw emotion you put into your poems. I can relate to it. I like the part about the china cabinet, and the stanza after that, "But there's a gag against my tongue/ (where your mouth used to be)." I love it! Cool piece overall!
anders8 chapter 1 . 7/31/2007
Shoulder blades rubbing into dust

Of the people we used to be

This line is amazing. The dust of the people we used to be ... the idea of them being back-to-back - and then further exploration of this, the crafty pivoting and angling viz. the analogy of the china cabinet and the figure standing with the key; not to mention the last two lines. Oh, wow.

Watch out for grammatical slip-ups, like "your" instead of "you're."
mizu no kokoro chapter 1 . 7/29/2007
good poem. the vivid images, well portrayed emotions. well done

keep writing
A little birdie once told me chapter 1 . 7/23/2007
I don't even know how to explain how much this poem amazes me! At parts, it reminded me of the novel New Moon by Stephnie Meyer, like when you described only having the voice left. And the little boy in the china cabinet is an amazing analogy! My FAVORITE lines are "Telling me it's all just a lost cause/ A wish glued on a star/ Floating billions of miles away/ Never to be grasped or even touched" Completely and utterly beautiful...
whispered something profound chapter 1 . 7/22/2007
aww so beautiful. normally i tell people what my favorite part of they're poem was, but this fit together so nicely. the last line is really haunting and i love it. "because we both know you'll fall"
Stella Grimshaw chapter 1 . 7/22/2007
Amazing as always.
Her Wishing Well chapter 1 . 7/22/2007
I loved this, I really did, it was so sad and yet so sort of sweet in a way. Made me want to cry - truly a favourite of mine.