|Reviews for To Stay Below The Sea|
| Skyless16 chapter 1 . 11/19/2011
The prologue is AMAZING!
| animeluver46 chapter 20 . 11/15/2011
Ooooooh! If I was there I would shank them mofos! :D
| animeluver46 chapter 5 . 11/13/2011
I love the love/hate relationship Arisa and Eiden have _ The fluff is just so interesting to read!
| animeluver46 chapter 1 . 11/12/2011
Very interesting first chapter! :D I know I'm going to love this story
| The Imagination Addict chapter 22 . 11/3/2011
i like the description of him bouncing in his seat like a little boy xD
| The Imagination Addict chapter 4 . 10/30/2011
omg this is so freaking funny!
| The Imagination Addict chapter 1 . 10/30/2011
hahaha omg this is twisted alright.
| DontWaitUpForMe chapter 26 . 10/27/2011
I was a bit peeved about how annoying Arisa could be and the fact that she was completely helpless all the time, but other than that it was good.
| witeaya chapter 22 . 10/7/2011
at this point im quite sure emily is actually the sea sorceress in disguise.
| Shannon chapter 1 . 10/4/2011
The prolouge of this book is very opening and enticing. I enjoy your choice of words, but I believe it would be best to have 2 or more people proof read and edit your script before presenting it to the public. Just from reading the opening, I'm interested to see how you have twisted the rest of the story. I am not aware of any other books you have writen, but this book seems to be based off the Disney Classic, The little Mermaid, which would be a plus for any reader's choice (and it makes me want to read more!). Thank you for allowing me to read it!
~Kitty Lee ManKiller
| Josie Lu chapter 26 . 8/22/2011
That was so cruel. For serious. I cried so effin' hard, I could barely see the text through all the tears. When I started on the epilogue I felt relief that Eiden was still alive, only to crash so much harder when I realized Eiden was in fact the sorceress (oh no I didn't!). I almost quit reading because it was too painful, but I kept at it, and I'm glad. Thank you for a great story.
| Looney chapter 26 . 7/28/2011
This is a very well written story. I quite enjoyed reading it, and I liked how you led up to the current events at the ending. Eiden and Arisa are a lovely couple, as is Lena and Ian. I commend you on a job well done.
| yoitsamberfool chapter 26 . 7/3/2011
In the future I'll probably come back and leave a more detailed review, but all I can manage to get out is this review and a smile that's probably causing my lips to crack!
Great job on the story, even better job on the ending... you know you've done an awesome job when the reader can call that out as a typical Eiden moment!
EA FO' LYFE!
| fallingWish chapter 26 . 6/29/2011
Okay, I swear I finished reading last night. It's just that certain circumstances (i.e. homework/studying) prevented me from writing a review then.
But anyways. On to what I really want to talk about.
First: *SQUEAL* OHMYGOSHTHISISSUCHACUTESTORY. *huffhuff* I know I'm finding it about three years later, but my friend (Streak of Serendipity) just sent me the link yesterday afternoon. And I finished reading all of it. In half a day...
Um. I saw a few grammatical errors as the story progressed (a lot of to/too mix-ups mostly, as well as some other areas where spelling was the main problem.) Don't know if you'll fix it, but just wanted to point it out. :)
I liked the overall plot of the story. While it's not as fresh in my mind as I would have liked it while writing this review, I can say for sure that the prologue was a really interesting way to start off that gave a nice background. The last chapters was where I really cried, because the emotions kind of got to me. ;( And then you went and wrote the epilogue. And you had me COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY FOOLED up to the end, you cruel, cruel writer. But that's what makes this story so good. It's BECAUSE you're a cruel, cruel writer that manages to slide in these plot twists EVERYWHERE in this seemingly happy fairytale. Have I mentioned you're cruel?
Oh, back to the last chapters. How in the world was Eidan saved? I'm assuming that either he didn't stab fatally deep, or Arisa was able to get him medical help really quickly after Alexandra left, but I don't think you could survive a deep stab in the stomach like that under normal circumstances...:o
I figured out that Emily was the sea witch. It sounded exactly like something she would do. I started to doubt myself sometime in the middle. Something like, "Nah...the sea witch could have killed a human to get her legs, but what about the real Emily? She'd probably have gone to the palace to either protest like the good person she has turned out to be, or she'd have shown up to take her place as the supposed fiance. And then there is the fact that Emily doesn't wrinkle in water...I thought humans wrinkle even if they're used to being in water a lot?" And poor Leland...to have lost his fiance to a fate worse then death for a while. That must have been a harsh few weeks/months. I don't think I'd have had the will to live if my love abandoned me to be the Prince's bride. Such a strong farmer.
I like the fact that you didn't use "Ariel" and "Eric" as the main character's names. I like that you dissected the original "Little Mermaid" story (the crueler version of the Disney one) and created this story that is pretty much completely AWESOME (for a current lack of a better term).
Oh gosh, this is already getting really long. I also apologize if it feels like my review's all over the place. ;
I felt really bad for Alexandria. In the beginning, she just seems like the ordinary "evil" character you'd find. And then you find out in that one chapter from her POV that her grunge against the king and the entire mermaid population is for killing her family and shunning the sea witch for her bottom half. I'd probably hate them too, if it were me in her shoes. I continuously felt like she was really pitiable. I mean, she's been all along for such a long time now, always hated by the mermaids, yet being so beautiful. She ends up having a twisted understanding of what beauty is, and I think she really hated herself for her octopus side. That's where I started hoping that she would become "good". Or at least stop using magic to reach her own desires/goals. Her explanation for killing everyone sounds quite realistic too. If given a choice between forced loneliness and being shunned by the rest of my race, I'd rather be forced to be lonely too. That way, I'd feel better for being alone-there's no one else to not be lonely with.
Um. I've run out of things to say. So I'll end this here. I think you should put on your first novel: "aka DevonnyAuriel" if you use another pen name so that we all know it's you. But only if you want to. :) Good luck on your writing career! I'll be cheering for you (and looking for your first novel)!
| The Smile Machine chapter 26 . 6/28/2011
So I knew that Emily was the witch, but I had no idea that Eiden was still alive. Anyway, I thought this was wonderful because the ending was happy. Although I'm not quite sure how they faked his death o.o That might be because I rushed through the last couple chapters...