Reviews for invisible
simpleplan13 chapter 2 . 10/28/2007
I like the second stanza which is new from the first version... but I dont really like the lines "urban development that is/threatening to take over"... thats basically the theme of the whole poem and I liked it better when it wasnt actually stated...
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 10/28/2007
I like this a lot... the whole combination of nature and whats killing nature.. awesome job
the naked civil servant chapter 1 . 8/21/2007
graffiti jumping off the wall...

hot asphalt stealing the sun...

tres merveilleux, ma chere demoiselle! reminds me of allan ginsberg's "sunflower sutra" (high praise indeed...)

those lines are apocalyptic.

seismic imagery.

... do you jive?

X
John Scott Brewer chapter 1 . 8/12/2007
At the very end I found that I was holding my breath

Different from what I am used to and so... refreshing.
no.peace.los.angeles chapter 1 . 8/5/2007
Interesting piece. The first line really drew me in, made me want to read more. And it really is a modernist piece, and makes me think a lot. Nice work. Keep writing! :)
Moondog Dozier chapter 1 . 8/2/2007
A very subtle controversy here. I like the concrete specifics, and how they bounce off of the abstact concepts so effortlessly. Good write. MD:77.
ode to a firefly chapter 1 . 7/31/2007
I love how you did "(in)visible" - very creative. I never would've thought of that one. )

Once again, fantastic description. You seem to have quite a talent for these types of poems.

Christine
thursdays and rain chapter 1 . 7/31/2007
lovely imagery, just lovely..