|Reviews for Angry Music|
| C.W. Pruitt chapter 4 . 1/14/2008
What? Lol. I didn't realize that this was only four chapters... I confess myself a little disappointed that it didn't go any farther than this, because it was really good. I'm going to go check out your profile and hope that you have more material posted. :)
| Kelsci J. Sceasel chapter 4 . 10/10/2007
Wow, you're such a wonderful author :) Keep writing more, and maybe have a full-length story soon? I was somewhat disappointed when this story ended so fast, even if I knew it was already complete. But you ended at the perfect spot, so I can't say anything bad.
And The Last Agnitiora chapter 3 is up, even if it pales in comparison to your writing skills :) That's why I need reviews, so I can get help on how to improve. Anyway, keep writing your lovely stories.
| sweets555 chapter 4 . 8/12/2007
amazing! i loved it. alerting you.
| The Breakdancing Ninja chapter 4 . 8/11/2007
ARG! why? No!
Okay, I should calm down. I think I've read too many novella-length works. I was getting my hopes way too high. This was a pretty good closing, a little flat compared to the previous chapter, simply because so much was going on and there wasn't enough time for that good old introspect. It was weird that her friend came, but she didn't even really talk to her.
I like Seth, and I would've wanted to see how his character developed, and even if he ended up breaking the narrator's heart, I think it would've been an awesome read. No. Okay. I'm just upset that there wasn't more. rofl
Seth sounds like a pretty awesome person; he would've brought out so much in the main character.
I think I'll read some more off your site. Visit mine if you have time; though, it's not like, awesome. I mean, from what I've read here, the work is sensible, low key, riveting, and realistic. Which none of mine is. But anyway. rofl
Thank you for the awesome read; I'll be back in a while to check up on more of your pieces.
Rock on, blister.
| Some Stranger chapter 1 . 8/8/2007
Really well done. I think this was the first time I've every enjoyed second person. Besides R.L. Stine of course :)
Argh...I wish I could read the third chapter, but Compy's decided to be a homosexual. Anyway, can't wait to see more.
| The Breakdancing Ninja chapter 3 . 8/7/2007
It's losing a little of that literary feel; pace yourself, don't get too excited there, story!
"Do you feel the connection?" is like, the hottest, heaviest connection to put on a slip of paper. No, I swear. It really is. If someone real cool asked me that, I wouldn't respond for weeks because that's what I do.
I like that Seth was that little kid, abused, biting his nails, sort of feral. That just makes him more awesome.
The only thing that pissed me off was her asking in the mirror who could find her attractive. I was like, dude, what the hell are you talking about? You have RED HAIR and BLUE EYES. That's like, classic. No, not classic. I meant to say exotic. I'd put that shit on a trading card and keep it if I were her. Though there's a lot of convenience, I'm overlooking it because the narrative is so good; short, sweet, full of emotion, but also lonely and contemplative.
I really feel for that chick every time she talks to Kayla. Kayla sounds like a nice person, but she's a people-person. She's likely to leave Lora in the dust.
I wonder how the next chapter will turn out? Please take your time on it; pacing matters. a lot. and also, the shining quality and the addictiveness of this piece has little to do with the romance. It's the narrative. The narrative will keep appreciative people coming. Don't let that escape!
| The Breakdancing Ninja chapter 2 . 8/7/2007
The only thing more awesome than the description of the Algebra teacher was the description of Seth. That is the weirdest combination of shit I've ever seen before.
Sexual computer geek with funny bone and is an asshole is totally someone I'd hang out with. rofl
I like their screen names, too. It's cool.
You know what I liked even more? That Lora just kind of skipped that whole getting-to-know-you business and went straight to the point: He's not so bad after all. I said: "Tkn fucking God" out loud because, well. Because.
Italics discrepancy: [What the HELL? He does know me. Lane0929: Uh…hi. He must be more attentive than I thought.] I think everything that isn't "Lane0929: Uh…hi." is supposed to be un-italicized.
[I didn’t tell him anything person.] *personal.
This story is like... a whole CD filled with my favorite songs. Because all my favorite songs died with my old computer.
| The Breakdancing Ninja chapter 1 . 8/7/2007
This was fucking awesome. Man, I really feel for that chick narrator. I felt so bad, but I also like her sense of humor.
Wait, before I talk about it, I found a small typo: [“My mom’s in bed already but she says she can’t wait to meet you in the morning…and we’re not supposed to stay up too late.” You made a face, and we laughted.] *laughed. second to the last paragraph from the bottom.
Each paragraph is impeccable, endearing, warm even though a little sad, truthful, economizing. I was surprised that I was drawn in despite the perspective. There's only one other story that I could really jive with that had the second person narrative, and it's a mermaid story.
I really liked this because there's that sweet (as well as bittersweet) element of romance without having to write up so much drama. The memories are well placed, the part with Lora talking to Kayla on Yahoo! Messenger was killer sad. I liked how the setting of the middle school dance was done.
I like how we don't have to worry about every literary detail; the narration takes us from place to place and there's so much ease in the prose. It's comforting. It helps that the narrator is self aware and hilarious (the ding dong thing cracked me up, but then the lunch time part was real sad).
Though, the word "cliche" was used twice, and though it's a viable fear of any author, I suggest against using it. It creates a post modern feel to the work and saps the honesty out of it. Because then it stops being about human experience and becomes more dettached and intellectualized.
This was a brilliant opening chapter and I'm happy to have gone to the Just-ins to catch it!
| Unknowning chapter 1 . 8/1/2007
I know what it's like to lose a friend and this was very realistic. I liked it very much. Favorite line: "I’m such a cliché I could almost laugh at myself if it all weren’t so painfully real. "
| All Alone With Her Thoughts chapter 1 . 7/31/2007
A really good write. Bravo.
Thanks for the review.
| BarbieBonez chapter 1 . 7/31/2007
Is this a short story or chaptered? If chaptered, write more :)