|Reviews for Thor|
| Solemn Coyote chapter 1 . 5/5/2008
This looks really promising. I'm kinda surprised by the lack of reviews.
1) Okay...whoah. If the opening line and poem are anything to go by, this is going to be an amazing read. If I don't write much by way of review, it's because I'm not coming up with anything I think can be improved.
2)"I was given the Golden Compass," that line made me smile
3)“But it is also great for the changes it brings.” Oh, ye gods. One of those kinds of poets. I guess it figures. Poet laureate does mean that there's government approval for his title somewhere.
4) "So why did I fight with the C. A.? I guess all I can say is at the time I didn’t know most of the truth," That's a huge tangle of backstory right there, with a lot of potential. Something tells me, though, that this story won't be directly addressing it very much. It has a feeling to it suggesting that while big events may happen around the main characters, the world won't necessarily turn differently on account of their actions. I could be wrong about that, of course. It's just a prediction at the outset.
5)"and I’m as close to independent as a man can get with a paid salary.
Rayne knew me well enough to not upset me at dinner." feels like there's a missing scene-break in between those.
6) Very little for me to critique, here. Mostly I'm just enjoying the story.
| goldfish demon chapter 8 . 5/4/2008
| goldfish demon chapter 7 . 5/3/2008
Wow, hard to beleieve I'm the first one dropping a review on this story. Awesome job so far, I'll be on the lookout for tyhe next chapter.