|Reviews for E Flat Minor of Platform 24|
| Dominique Diane chapter 2 . 4/9/2013
Oh god, I cried at the last part!
| Darling Deer chapter 2 . 8/29/2012
This was amazing, blew up my mind. That was unexpected and made me cry. I felt so lonely when he died and after reading his message, made fall in love with him too. He was so selfless and she was so selfish, i hated her. Next time I go the sub, I'll make sure to check the walls and when I do find him, i won't let him go :)
| The Autumn Queen chapter 2 . 7/13/2012
I like the way you began once again. Tackling the cliched happily ever ending and voicing a brief summary of events instead in a more realistic way. There's a sense of sadness in those first lines as well, which is fitting and at the same time showcases your talent for 1st person narrative, being able to say that with so little words.
I also like how you conveyed the fear in this. The heart-felt admission "I'm afraid" - the introverted nature and the traffic jam and the twinge in her chest. Even the note she left seems so stiff and formal and helps us as readers understand that feeling. It seems, as you said at the beginning, an attempt to get this off her chest so she can be free of it. It's amazing how well you managed to hold on to that. Well done.
Ohana from the Review Marathon (link in profile)
| The Autumn Queen chapter 1 . 7/13/2012
I love the way you started this. While, in a way, it is conventional in terms of writing for closure, straight off the bat it demonstrates a certain uniqueness to it. I think it's the admission of guilt, the need for apology, and the acknowledgement that the benefit is solely (or wholly) his own.
[not in logic but in pure emotion.] - that's a somewhat unusual way of saying it. I normally see "on" as opposed to "in" but it serves to give the narrative a unique voice, so a stumbling block like that actually serves to work rather well. Particularly as it highlights the sentence that follows.
I also like how you come back to the theme of selfishness/selflessness in the next paragraph in an almost entirely different context. And how it continues to occur throughout the chapter. It's a good motif to play with in any form of narrative I think; it highlights the direction of bias, but on top of that it works even more for a fic like this where selfishness or some degree thereof is contained within the root.
[Getting good grades benefited almost no one but me, and that pleased me to no end.] - That's a very interesting sentence. Unfortunately, I think good marks sometimes benefit me less, *sighs internally*
And there's an interesting way for two people to have a conversation. Normally, it's the internet hype, but this gives a touch of uniqueness and an extra sense of awareness too.
Ohana from the Review Marathon (link in profile)
| Redz chapter 1 . 6/8/2012
Wow, amazing story. I wish I'd have found it sooner. I would have liked to know how this will change Nat and how she will overcome the sadness, but I guess one can't have everything.
Spotted a couple mistakes on ch1. 'My apology is directed at the principle character of my tale.' I think you meant 'principal.'
'On the wall, partially hidden by the pay phone, was a strange sort of graffiti on the wall.' Unnecessary repetition of 'on the wall.'
I will now proceed to read your other stories. Keep it up!
| dreeming chapter 2 . 2/6/2012
Oh. As beutiful as this is, I can't- He just- WHY DID HE HAVE TO DIE *sob*
| KyleeCarlile chapter 2 . 9/13/2011
This just absolutely broke my heart. I mean literally I'm sitting here sobbing! I loved it!
| Robin Leigh chapter 2 . 2/10/2011
Beautiful. I love it's uniqueness, it's warmth and simplicity and mystery. I love it. :)
| midnight tales chapter 2 . 10/27/2010
this is very beautiful. both the story line and your writing flows so beautifully. it's absolutely breathtaking. I'm very in love with this short story of yours.
| cheeky sheep chapter 2 . 7/6/2010
I am seriously going to start crying any second now.
That was beautiful.
| FizzyLizzy chapter 2 . 7/5/2010
Amazing. Absolutely breathtaking. Even the grammar was impeccable. Every single thing, from the detail to the dialogue was pure art. It was perfect. You need to be congratulated, so CONGRATULATIONS.
I love it,
| Floppy125 chapter 2 . 6/21/2010
This was awesome. A little tad dramatic, but it was really good :)
I'm so much like Nat. I play the piano only for my own benefit, and I don't like people hearing it, even though they always tell me I'm good, I still can't play for other people.
I would've loved a music sheet of the song...
Anyways. It was a great story :) great job!
| Mazza775 chapter 2 . 5/26/2010
I really liked the story, it's great!
I do have one question though, In his last note he says "Perhaps in the future, our paths will meet again."" Maybe it's just wishful thinking on my part, or I'm looking for a loophole, but surely he would have to be alive for that to be possible? If he intented to die, wouldn't he have said something else?
This is actually the first review I've ever written! I hope its okay :)
| C. Tattiana H-H chapter 2 . 4/14/2010
Oh my god. This was so amazing that I can’t even write a proper review for this. I honestly just keep saying “Oh my god” over and over to myself because my brain is refusing to accept Oliver’s fate, and how brilliantly you wrote this piece. Honestly Lefty, this piece is superb. I’m sad, I’m elated, I’m feeling so many emotions right now I can’t even think properly. You did an amazing job on this. The dialogue is captivating, the characters are engaging, the plot is spellbinding, you have such an amazing talent. I am so glad I read this story. This is how it’s done folks!
| C. Tattiana H-H chapter 1 . 4/14/2010
Your opening is very captivating, it peaks my interest and makes me want to read more. In the fifth paragraph, second sentence there is a minor error: “...five steps to the left again, I something caught...” Change “I” to “and” or something of the sort. In the same paragraph, last line, you repeat the word wall: “On the wall...graffiti on the wall.” Consider removing the second “on the wall”. In the paragraph following the break, last sentence: You start the sentence with “Besides” and then throw an “anyway” in the middle. I find that the “anyway” redundant, considering removing it or changing to something else. I thoroughly enjoyed the scene with the guidance counsellor. It was full of a dry sort of wit that I am quite fond of. The end of the first part was a little bit shocking. It fits her character completely, but I just never thought she was THAT selfish. I feel so bad for the poor man.