Reviews for The Ambassadors
Disturbly chapter 1 . 10/3/2007
Hello, then. I'm Disturbly. I've been meaning to get around to your writing for a while, and just now had a chance. I more or less picked this story off your profile at random, and I merely copied the first chapter onto a CDRW to read at my leisure, so I don't *really* recall what the summary said it was about as I write this. But I did recall it was sci-fi, and this chapter was definitely a good start.

I gotta say, I was kind of surprised to see you use two of the more common theoretical methods for light-year distance travel at the same time; astronaughts suspended in cryo-sleep, and faster than light ships. I did kind of think it was weird; one of the foremost reasons for authors to use FTL spacecraft, which would most likely be impossible to ever build, is so they don't have to resort to putting astronaughts in suspended animation in the first place. I wondered why, if you were going to write about a craft that was physically impossible to exist, you didn't go whole hog and make it so that they could jaunt on over to their destination at warp 20 in a week and be done with it. But, the cryo-sleep is a key part of this chapter, and I suppose you didn't want the trip to have taken millenia, so you had to use both. Whatever; that's cool.

I should also note that I like the details you allude to about the computer's tasks in preparing the ship for the crews' revival. You don't go into enough detail to make it tedious, but you imply enough for your reader to appreciate the necessary complexity. Good form.

"A busy mechanical hum emanated from within the tanks as their workings busied themselves with the task of brining the humans inside back to life. "

Typo. 'bringing'.

"Arella slowly woke up. Her mind activated first, the unsettling contrast of consciousness with the lack of any of her senses disoriented her."

Interesting. I've never associated the possibility of cryo-sleep technology carrying the side effect of acting as a sensory deprivation chamber, and I can't easily recall another author who has. That, and your description of Arella's sensations as she wakes up, are nice details that enrich your story.

I also really like your description of Duncan, the IT. The concept of an interactive terminal, operating in the manner you describe, seems oddly plausible, marking this as a nice piece of speculative fiction. Did you coin that term yourself, or was this simply the first time I encountered it? I would be remiss if I didn't note that your lengthy description of Duncan's capabilities, and the parallels you keep enforcing between his operating programs and a human's physiology, could be viewed by some as info-dumping... But I'm not one of them. I read Card, King, and Michener, and I found the aforementioned passages quite interesting.

Oh, and another typo- "He wasn’t just limited to taking orders- he initiated a process that would clean and store the cyrotanks"


All in all, a good start to what seems to be a good story. I look forward to reading on.

IAmGabe chapter 3 . 8/13/2007
Yo, so after the 30th time this thing showed up in my inbox, I decided I would leave a review. I do like where you're going with the story. Overall, this chapter was good, but got a bit heavy-handed at times. When you're explaining the history of humanity and the Deltas, it seems like you're force-feeding the entire backstory of the plot to the reader in a few paragraphs.

I do like the Deltas as a species. The concept of Xenophobic space travelers is a great world building idea! One thing I might suggest reworking is the conversation about what makes the Deltas and Humans similar. You mention that being bipedal is a prerequisite for an intelligent race. Scientifically speaking, things like large brains and opposable thumbs would be more important. Additionally, the rate of growth could be a factor, assuming they have biology anywhere remotely similar to ours.

Another good point I enjoyed was the use of the encrypted packet. As a CS guy, I can appreciate the placement of that information. Instead of just saying they got a transmission, you made it more realistic by making it encrypted.

I also like the idea of the vestigial control bridge in the ship. It's exactly like people to leave something like that in just because it is easier. From an engineering standpoint, this happens all the time.

Overall, pretty good.
Solemn Coyote chapter 1 . 8/3/2007
Glad to see that you've resumed posting. You already have my comments on this chapter, but this draft looks a bit more polished. I could be wrong, though. Sorta skimmed. Anyways, good to have you back on ficpress.

deletethisaccountplease9 chapter 1 . 8/3/2007
Ok, That was awesome. I love the way you describe the ship and its functions. I also like how you give an explanation for the functions and make them seem possible (and infact, some of them ARE). I am a HUGE Sci-fi fan, so I was totally into this story from the start. I really... REALLY, hope there is more.