|Reviews for Hold on to Hope|
| Teanaaa chapter 12 . 1/5/2013
I enjoyed it very much, though I'm a little disappointed it was so short. But reading your author's notes about a sequel, I'll be reading it, and hopefully, grammatical errors are corrected, the use of remarked lessened and different words replaced it and sentencing flows to make sense. Also, in chapter 11, the transition seems a little off because I became confused. Also, it did seem to move on too quickly to this end. Either way, I enjoyed reading this and will now go read more of your works.
| Teanaaa chapter 8 . 1/5/2013
Knowing how old this story is, I am still going to review and know that there is a high possibility that you won't see these reviews, but I only have two questions and all the other complaints are the same.
My questions are: Did Hope get ambushed at school? Is that how she got there in the interrogation/torture room?
It doesn't hurt to question. It's a reading skill.
| Teanaaa chapter 6 . 1/5/2013
Another complaint. It's of the wrong usage of words and a few grammatical errors. The same complaint of confusing sentences. Please do see these reviews from me and go back to rereading this whole thing and revise.
Though, I might say, I'll continue reading because of the plot and twists.
| Teanaaa chapter 4 . 1/5/2013
Fourth chapter. Finally a description to what Hope looks like, so assuming what Hope looks like, her brothers would look like her but with more boyish features. Still a complaint about diction and unnecessary sentences but other than that, build up is good with relationships but the beginning of chapter 4 seems to be confusing. I had to go back and reread.
That said, I shall go back to reading and inputting my feedback.
| Teanaaa chapter 2 . 1/5/2013
Only the second chapter and I already have some issues. It's a great story plot and all, but some parts are confusing; I would go back to reading it over at least 4 times to understand, sometimes more but when that happens, I give up trying to understand the sentence. Another thing is to revise some parts. Like the use of "remarked." That word has been repeated I don't know how many times. It's repetitive and I suggest a thesaurus. Also, there are some sentences that are not needed. It breaks the flow. The characters are great, but I don't recall reading what most of them looked like. Like what are their builds, their eye color, hairstyle and color, their height. Their personality is described just fine, but their appearance needs work. Other than that, I am enjoying this story.
| Cecily Mitchell chapter 12 . 3/29/2010
Great story, looking forward to the sequel. Umm, I think that you could probably work on your transitions. Some of them didn't make too much sense and others went a little fast. :) Happy writing!
| Duckies chapter 12 . 4/15/2009
A great ending, simple but really effective! A cute and incredibly sweet story. Loved the plot twists and little quirks, fab work :D I'd really like to have heard more about the grandfathers though, seeing as you've mentioned them so often - maybe a prequel-sequel about the past events? xD
| Duckies chapter 11 . 4/15/2009
I think this is a really sweet chapter (except for the bit where she has part of a roof fall on her o.O) It kind of seemed as if you were speecding up, everything is happening really abruptly. I know this is your style, but it seems even more amplified, as if you're rushing to get to the end. Seemed a bit cliche with all the happy endings I can see forming, but that's okay, because I love cliches xD
Great work - and oh no! second last chapter! Ahwell, there's still a sequel :D
| Duckies chapter 10 . 4/15/2009
I noticed that you spoke both in third person and first person when writing from Hope's POV. You might want to be aware of that, as it can be very disorienting to the reader. I think elaborating a bit more on the terrorists would have been more effective, but apart from that a really good chapter with some great plot developments. Great cliffhanger btw :)
| Duckies chapter 9 . 4/15/2009
Love it :D
| Duckies chapter 8 . 4/15/2009
I really liked the transitions between characters and events, though I thought the interaction between the families and government could have been more realistic, with more emphasis on their distress and anger. The tone of the story when they were torturing her seemed very real. I wanted to punch out those government guys xD I thought they were a little bit too calm when it came to being tortured and all, but it was still an interesting development. Now here I go, continuing with my reading :D
| Duckies chapter 7 . 4/15/2009
This is getting rather funny, I review a chapter, then go onto the next one and find that you've mentioned some of the issues I talked about in your A/N! It's great. I don't think the beginning of this chapter was as good as it could be, mostly because of the description. You mentioned that you weren't into the whole descriptive thing at the start and that's totally understandable. It's great that you're trying it out here, but the thing with descriptive writing is that if you do do it, you have to go all the way, this seemed almost there, but not quite. You should really go into more depth. Really liked the recurrence of 'trees' though, it was random but made the character seem more human :)
| Duckies chapter 2 . 4/15/2009
Oh yeah, I just remembered: "Deirdre calmly explained while Gideon." What is Gideon doing?
| Duckies chapter 6 . 4/15/2009
Naww, Ravid CAN'T be gay! o.O
I like how a lot of characters and events tie in with eachother, e.g. Hope's friend from the advanced class happens to be the son of her grandfather's fellow scientist, etc. It's not very realistic but it works with the tone of the story. Really humorous, some parts were a wee bit predictable, but I'm loving it just because the characters are so damn funny..
| Duckies chapter 5 . 4/15/2009
This is much better, I really liked the way your character interact, it seems very believeable - especially the comparisons!
I noticed you wrote 'Ravid's POV' and 'Hope's POV' for each respective section, but not for Diedre's POV. Once again, just the minor grammatical errors like using double negatives and misplaced punctuation, etc. Good development and much better paced. :)