|Reviews for Hold on to Hope|
| Duckies chapter 4 . 4/15/2009
Yes, I do rather agree with your A/N, it was rather abrupt, though I still think it's sweet :)
"She smiled fondly when she thought of her murdered sister." Seemed kind of wrong to me, I understand the smiling fondly as she remembers her deceased sister, but putting the word 'murdered' in there just felt a bit off. Dunno, just a thought.
| Duckies chapter 3 . 4/15/2009
Oh, I'm absolutely loving this so far!
I laughed out loud at some parts in both the last chapter and this one, earning myself some weird glances xD
I think it's really cute how Ravid likes Grace, it's almost like that classic attraction where you go from sniping at each other to making out. I really like how the friends are helping her break free and the way they're settling in so well. I found some of it a little too fast, though the majority of the time that worked to your advantage. Just slow down every now an then, and try not to make the transitions too abrupt, that way you can add emphasise onto your plot. I really hope you go into more detail about how people are reacting to her change of character at her high school too! :D
| Duckies chapter 1 . 4/15/2009
Okay, I'm going to review every few chapters that I read :)
This seems really interesting so far; it's great for me to take a break from the world of fantasy that I've been immersed in lately and read something set in the real world :P
I really like what I've been able to gather about the plot so far, and I think you've mananged to portray her feelings of bitterness and being an outsider in her own home really well.
There were a few grammatical errors in your work, for example:
"Grace I was not a bit graceful" maybe change to 'Grace, I was not the least bit graceful'
"Kemen and Mav like my two other brothers Adolf (twenty-three years old), Derek (twenty-one), and Arron (nineteen)" There should be a comma after 'Mav' and you said TWO brothers, then listed THREE *damn you FP review thing, won't let me format*
"regularly if five overprotective brothers" should be 'regularly if there are five overprotective brothers'
And so on.. *I'm too lazy to go through everything again xD*
Apart from that, this is really intriguing, I'm going to keep reading :D
| Scarlett Smile chapter 12 . 4/13/2009
What I loved most about your story is how I can imgaine it being a really popular indie film. The plot of your story is very unique and there are parts where I could definetley relate to Hope. I enjoyed your whole story because there were moments where I laughed and moments where I just HAD to keep reading. Great story and I can't wait to read the sequel! :D
| DesiredLove chapter 1 . 3/23/2009
This story sounds good, but i got a little bit confused, so i re-read it. and then i completely understood it. so yeah, i like the way its started, and i hope end ends as good as it started.
| Broken-Souls-Lost chapter 12 . 12/17/2008
love the story one of the best I have ever read I'm going to go read finding hope right know :)
| Keelin N chapter 12 . 12/2/2008
This was great. The 12 chapters flew by fast though. Good thing there's a sequel! I'm moving onto that right now!
| ForTheJokes chapter 4 . 8/18/2008
I'm glad you added that passage in the first chapter, that's how I knew that something was possibly happening between the two of them. I would have liked it if you'd dragged it out a bit longer though. I am liking that you have it from more than one character's perspective, I'm planning on doing that for a story I may be starting, I just don't know how that will work yet.
| ForTheJokes chapter 1 . 8/17/2008
A friend recommended this to me, and I like it so far, so I'll keep reading. But I don't think I'll review every chapter. If I find something to comment on, I will though.
| Counting Petals chapter 1 . 8/12/2008
True, you did rush a lot. But the plot seems interesting so far, and I liked how you left it off with a cliffhanger.
| StradiNette chapter 12 . 7/8/2008
I loved this story! I would have posted a review every chapter, but I think that'd be too redundant since it's already finished.
I think you tied everything together nicely, and the twists and transitions were smooth for the most part.
| Arithenia chapter 5 . 7/7/2008
I really like the changes in perspective, they really add depth and other dimensions to the story, it's starting to round out a bit more and really draw the reader in.
*on another note I've noticed lots of typos and sentences that end after a few words, do you want specifics? **Not critisizing, just trying to help**
| Arithenia chapter 3 . 7/7/2008
Yay! I pretty much saw the "thing" between her and Ravid coming...It's kinda sweet! Her mom's nice, but I was little thrown by how she suddenly decides/allows her daughter to go on a major shopping spree...perhaps elaborate a bit on her mom's thought process "you all need something to cheer you up" or something else, I dunno...But other than that I really liked how having her friends at Singer has brought out her personality and opened up new arenas that she never saw before...like Ravid. :)
| Arithenia chapter 2 . 7/7/2008
Whoa! Talk about fast paced! So much happened in this chapter I have no idea where to even start...I think it's pretty cool how she finally opens up to her family (well, acts like herself is more acurate, I guess) and the dialogue is snappy and fun. I love the names and characterization, but you could use a bit of work on transitioning between her thoughts and "narration" or whatever it's called...I'm not sure how to fix it, but it's a bit confusing in a few spots...
| Arithenia chapter 1 . 7/7/2008
Oh, I'm curious already! After only 1 chapter I'm intrigued as to where the story will go! I really like the "Alter Ego" type thing, 'cuzz sometimes I wish I could try out being shy in one place and outgoing somewhere else! (w/o people thinking I'm bipolar!)
Your writing is quite good, and the "lack" of description is really not a bad thing at all, it keeps the story moving rather than bogging up with "and she wore this and this and her hair was this and her shoes were this, blah blah..." So kudos to you for that!