|Reviews for Would You Notice?|
| x Farii chapter 1 . 9/2/2010
You should really write a story out of this. A complete story.
| wonderful dahling chapter 1 . 8/4/2007
*sniffles* yes, i would notice dahling. cept, this is poetry you fool.
hmm, i've gotten way lazy, and cameron is turning out to be great material for a typical story of cliche. confusing as hell. cept, mo thinks he likes me now, which would be breaking his own general rules because he's a retard. i mean, sometimes he'll flirt like crazy, then the next day he'll act all negative again, then surprise you at last minute.
so, as per mo's advice, i have been lying to myself in efforts to get over him sooner, only he's not making it easy on me. oh no. he's supposed to sprout out prose of how vile i am. now, that would make it easier.
oh, you know, you could make this into a serious of one-shots about despair. how nice would that be. it would work. it could be like thunderbox, only, not so stall-ish.
we should write a book of breakups. you know, cover all the genres. it's not you, it's me. or, you cheating bastard. or, i'm dying, this can't go on, I don't want to hurt you. i love you too much for this to continue. see, ideas!
i'll review di ret later, only maybe you should change the title because it's not cliche enough for people, and it hints to advanced dialogue and such. so yeah.
so, i'm gonna go, and instead of clean, write about my teenage angst. hmm, i might just use your name to be evil so it's all awkward for you when reading. haha. see, evil.
| Fractured Illusion chapter 1 . 8/4/2007
I like how you spoke of their relationship by the few lines (breaking the person down, competing with him/her etc) yet there seemed to be a soft side to their relationship (tissue to dry your eyes, visit you etc).
I was a tad disappointed with the ending though. Perhaps it is the format that does not do well for me. The last was a tad too predictable and thus made little impact. And also it was basically a replica of the first line. I personally suggest something else to go there. Perhaps something that reveals who they are to each other (friends, enemies, cousins?).
| concerto49 chapter 1 . 8/4/2007
What was with the number?
Yes, we are but minute, but then and again we all have our glories and our unique path.
There sure are some interesting questions. It is hard to live on and we must be brave.
It was rather negative and yes angst as you pointed out.