Reviews for My Entity
Your Bittersweet Chocolate chapter 5 . 3/23/2009
Mah, well, sorry for the anonymous review; I have yet to be an active lounger in fictionpress to have the will to get an account here.

I've been reading your works for a long time - sorry if I was to lazy to review - and I must say that I'm quite surprised at this one. You usually have your story in an some medieval-like time.

As always, great job on the work.
Amber Salgado chapter 29 . 2/18/2009
this story i saw it like at two in the afternoon and i just finished it right now i did not get up from my seat for a long time :] this story is so interesting and it kept me guessing...i love her quirky weirdness and i knew something was bad about hot guy i just never realized it i really liked the story and i just realized there is a continuing story from Wes s side i will read that as soon as i can but so you know this has become one of my favorite stories on fp i mean usually its like the stories are good but i found this to be above have you considered publishing? anyways you probably are tired of me telling you how amazing this is so i will say amazing story and good luck on whatever else you write

Nimh chapter 29 . 1/25/2009
why does this story have so few reviews?

it's just AWESOME!

i like the way you build your characters and your story...

it is really cool, and as soon as i have the time, i will read your other work :)
Vivian chapter 29 . 1/4/2009
wow. I seriously cannot think of a single negative thing to say about your story. It was an awesome read. I was kinda iffy about it at first 'cause it's not like your others, but I have to say, I enjoyed it just as much, if not more so. You're an astounding writter,
Kathleen Moon chapter 29 . 11/11/2008
all I can say is ... so cute!
MizJ chapter 29 . 9/28/2008
this was amazingly good. i mean really. I haven't read a story that was this good (and amazingly funny) in a long time.
noriepie chapter 1 . 4/4/2008

you know i was thinking,

when Gav finally tells her he's from Macedonia, and she goes "isn't that an ancient city" or something to that's not in this chapter obviously, i'm just too lazy to find the right chapter at this moment

i was thinking maybe you should make ashe say "Macedonia? oh you mean like the macedonian nuts? I hear the nuts are suppose to be luxurious"

or something like that

just thought that would be great. hahaha
noriepie chapter 29 . 3/31/2008
absofreakinglylutely awesome!
noriepie chapter 7 . 3/31/2008
omg i love this girl!
smilingsoprano chapter 29 . 3/27/2008
Wow. I loved it!

The voice was just so bright and witty. The plot was great. Very original and very engaging.

If I had one quibble, it would be that it feels as though you picked up the Grindhouse as a spot to create some great characters and conversations, and then dropped it. Maybe that will come back in My Ninja. But there was no resolution to the creepy artist guy (sorry I can't remember names, but it's late right now). And we (the readers) heard a ton about how much the old Vietnam vet talked, but he didn't have a single line. Anyway, I was disappointed a little by that.

But the rest of the story totally made up for it. Soul-sucking Japanese scientists, and Macedonian boy with a photographic memory, and Ashe? Good Lord. It was amazing.
smilingsoprano chapter 21 . 3/27/2008
Nice pun on egg-head Wes (Pun? Maybe that's not the right word. But I think it is. Anyway, it's clever).
smilingsoprano chapter 2 . 3/27/2008
Sorry if the frequency of reviews is annoying, but I had to say:

"someone should have shot Nathaniel Hawthorne before ever giving him a pen."


I had to read The Scarlet Letter just this year. While I certainly enjoyed analyzing it (I never imagined that a metaphor/analogy/symbolic representation could be over 200 pages long), it was a PAIN to read. I think I found at least two sentences that were over half a page long. Good God, man.

Anyway. I like this narrator's voice a lot. Very fresh and different from your other stories.
smilingsoprano chapter 1 . 3/27/2008
So this is the story I chose to read next.

Anyway, one quick thing: "I am, what my father likes to say," feels awkward. I think it should be "I am, AS my father likes to say . . ."

Okay. Back to reading.
One Last Kiss chapter 29 . 3/22/2008
This story is absolutely awesome.

I can't beleive it has so few reviews!

It's the best story I've read on here for a while that's for sure.

The ending made me all tingly hehe :P

Kadie x
thinkTwice Nfall chapter 29 . 1/8/2008
Your story is amazingly awesome. It was written so well, and Ashe had such a fascinating personality. Gav was really likable too. A nice guy. Also, I definitely didn't expect the story to be revolving around some experiment gone wrong , so kudos for thinking outside the box! -(or something?) I actually don't think there were more than 2 grammar mistakes in the entire story. (I don't remember what they were, though.) Anywho, the point is, I'm surprised that you didn't get that many reviews! This story is one of the best I've ever read! _

PS: (If you were hoping for a more technical review...)

The theme of your story has been chosen often, but I think you portrayed it quite well, better than most other writers have done.

The villain was also slightly predictable (slightly because I had a clue that "Nigel" could be the villain, but at first I thought that he would end up being one of Ashe's best buds or something), but you still built up the suspense up to that very point when he was outright revealed as the bad guy. All the clues were laid out pretty well. - It was all quite clever, really. - I was practically on the edge of my seat (literally), and I was itching so much to just skip on to that unmasking of Nigel's villainy!-I didn't though. -(In case you were wondering.)

Also, I found that the poems were actually quite charming; my favorite (of course) was the one that Ashe wrote on Homecoming night. It was different, but nice. It sounded very heartfelt too. I even felt like crying at some points in the story from what Ashe was going through. Her emotions were practically real.

You've got amazing skills. I think you should get this published as a formal novel.

PPS: Sorry that this review is kinda long. I guess I got carried away. ;;
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