Reviews for Rathisha |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Hmm. . .very, very engrossing. You really sould continue this, it has such great potential. . . *sigh* |
![]() ![]() ![]() Whoa! Intense and VERY well-written! I'm impressed so far, my friend! *reads eagerly on* |
![]() ![]() It's been a year since you last wrote, please keep writing! I'm dying to hear the end of this tale. What of the Shah's son? Does Reina's father come back in human form at all? Does she become Queen, or go back home? Does she marry Isaac? KEEP WRITING! |
![]() ![]() Please oh please add on to the story! I've been waiting for months! |
![]() ![]() I know you may be busy, but please update! |
![]() ![]() hey, I was just going through and reading through the first few chapters, and I noticed something. "his wife died after she bore his child." "She died six years ago". This makes it sound like the daughter is only six years old now. You might want to tweak that... |
![]() ![]() ![]() My, this is a very good story! I was forgetting that I was reading a non published work for a few chapters! The only bad thing I have to say about this, is that the relationship between Isaac and Reina developed much, much too quickly. The chemistry is awesome and all, but within the span of five days and they're madly in love with one another? Give it two weeks, at least. |
![]() ![]() Bravo! Molto bene! Much much better! This chapter seems more in tune with the story. Don't loose it's intensity! Brilliant. :) lol okay, question, was, in the original chapter, Saoirse the one behind the couch? Just curious. I REALLY loved the way you brought in the black dragon! (shh... I don't know he's her dad) That was a much grander entrance for such an important character. *excited claps* Keep it up! You're doing wonderfully! ~Cait |
![]() ![]() Hey hey hey! Sweet new chapter. A little more info than action... You might want to vary that, make a few tiny things happen during the chapter. (As a reader, it is very easy to stop reading when all that is happening is walking and background filling) The background story is good! But it's always more fun when they find things out by mistake, accident, or randomly out of place. If that makes sense... Critical time: I'm going to be terribly honest with you... this wasn't your best chapter. I could tell where your thoughts drifted and you were carried away by small tangents. It could bennifit from a bit of tweaking... Question time! Yay!: Why wasn't there a clue about her father before hand? That seemed like a last minute idea. Foreshaddowing is the most amazing technique ever! (in my opinion anyway. haha) Don't be afraid to use it! You could maybe create some recognition- (her father is the dragon that rescued them right?) like: "The dragon met her terrified gaze and, for an instant, her fear relaxed. In the deep green (er... whatever color, u should describe what the dragon looks like too) of his eyes there was a certain light that felt all too familiar..." just as an example. And when she said that last line, "There's a body behind the sofa", did she SEE it and that was her exclaimation? Or did she know and that was her confession? hahaha no idea. And why was Issac in her room? I mean... I thought he totally just brushed her off (with much pain and effort) in the woods? Told her to go marry the Shah? Wouldn't he then try to steer clear of her till that day...? Or is there a dire reason for his early entrance? And I can't tell you how much I'm dying for this next chapter. haha I always love a good intrigue... this new guy should be quite the drama builder! haha I'm sorry, I ask way too many questions. But I love your story and I can't help it! The drawings are coming along, but they still require a bit more work. As soon as they are perfected I will find a way to send them to you. Well, I hope all is well! Have a good day! (good luck with all those projects that are due!) I've actually got a paper due the same day, so I should probably get to work on that. Keep up the good work! ~Cait |
![]() ![]() I've got no suggestions but enjoy reading Rathisha _ |
![]() ![]() I'm dying for the next chapter...! |
![]() ![]() Praise for Rathisha! I absolutely adore it when the plot thickens... bum bum bum... haha. The Gwydion and Pheirre scene is an excellent touch. If the villain is brought forth out of the black category of pure evil, the reader is more able to chose for themselves what side to root for. lol who has the better reason for doing what they do, you know? Rather than telling the reader exactly what is good and what is bad. Who wants to know the ending before it begins? I love how powerful the emotions seem to be even as the romance falters. And with a new potential suiter, things are going to get a lot more interesting! Yes! A map would be wonderful! And maybe illustrations? If possible, I would be willing to help you out on that. I'm an art major and am already illustrating a book in progress. Let me know what you think. It would certainly be my pleasure for such an amazing story. You surpass my writing abilities any day. lol, okay okay, enough! you say. Forgive the extensive review, but you really do deserve it. Can't wait for the next chapter! And thanks for answeing my question. Merci! Cait |
![]() ![]() I'd like a map please _ |
![]() ![]() ![]() Yay! I love this story. I can't wait for Reina and Isaac to have their moment. And a map would be nice... I have to admit that the Phierre/ Gwydion part at the beginning threw me off a bit. Keep writing! |
![]() ![]() ![]() I have two minor problems with this chapter. First, the plural of leaf is leaves, not leafs. And secondly, the transition of Reina and her lady in waiting to the next scene was abysmal, since there was no page break, or anything like that. But otherwise, I loved this chapter. I think you did a fabulous job with it, and I'm very much looking forward to the next chapter. I think that it would have had more of an impact if initially Isaac and Reina were a little stand offish. Or if you have put more of Reina's thoughts about Isaac's absence into it. Because if she loves him, and hasn't seen him for two weeks, then she'd be hurting a lot more than she was. |