|Reviews for Empty, Pain|
| Devin Brines chapter 1 . 8/8/2007
This isn't something I'd typically like, but I think you did it very well. It's a solid metaphor, even if people tend to overuse it. The only thing I don't like is that these lines didn't seem to flow: "Slowly,/Flowed out, with the blood," The rest is tight.
| blister chapter 1 . 8/5/2007
I feel the exact same way...and when the heart freezes and cracks, the pieces are sharp enough to cut anyone who tries to get close.
| embarrassing-bs chapter 1 . 8/5/2007
this was very, unhidden and open.
good and bad to that.
but i think it gives the reader the idea of defeat when it speaks of self mutilation.
i don't mean to be rude... so excuse me if you feel attacked.
overall, it was okay, but I'm sure you can do better.