Reviews for Banane Pauvre et Les Deux Chats |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Excellent! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Tinn, Thank you for commenting on my story. I'm sorry that I tried to write the story with the conversations in French. I wrote them while I was in French 1, like you guessed. Several people have pointed this out and I haven't gotten around to changing it. If you had read farther than the first two chapters you would've seen that I stopped on chapter three and wrote the rest in English. Thank you for your comment that my writing is better than 80 percent of the stories on here, but if you could perhaps give me pointers on how to improve my mediocre writing, I would be more than grateful. Thank you, Nilegulm |
![]() ![]() The writing, although mediorce, is better than that of at least 80 percent of the stories on this site. The one thing that is really bugging me-and I mean REALLY bugging me; I refuse to read more than the first two chapters- is the French you're using. The story is obviously set in France, so you don't need to have complete conversations ( much less sentences) in the bloody language. The French would be easier to swallow if it didn't seem like a French 1 student was writing it. This story would be better off without the French. Final rating: 2.5/5 |
![]() ![]() Why did you take away the french? im very sad. i could understand most of it and it was fun learning some new phrases that we neglected in french class. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Wow. This is a really cute/quirky story. I love how you wrote the dialogue in French (even if it is only the first few chapters). Just one correction "...pour regarder le stars!" should be "...pour regarder les étoiles!" It is the first sentence of the third paragraph of the second chapter. Have a wonderful day! |
![]() ![]() Awesome story! You should have a sequel! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Loved this story so much! It always really cheered me up when i was having a bad day :) Hope you write more! rcb x |
![]() ![]() ![]() I hope I am not posting this twice. It didn't look like it went through the first time I tried. I like your story! It's cute and has a creative premise. I would like to recommend that you not include French. I will venture to guess that it is not your native tongue. It rather seems like you have employed an Internet translator or have translated sentences yourself from English to French word by word. Neither method yields a good, accurate translation - not even close, I'm afraid. Therefore, the French dialogue is very awkward coming from characters who are supposedly native speakers. I think you could easily avoid including French without changing the setting or characters and without taking from the value of your good story. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Lovely story. I enjoyed it a lot. I missed the french toward the end when everyone started talking in english, but writing a story in a french when a lot of people don't understand it can get annoying. I, however, enjoy it. I hope to read more of your work sometime. |
![]() ![]() ![]() aw so sweet! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Okay, first of all I want to say that this is definitely one of my favorite stories on FictionPress and I have added it to my Favorite Stories list. It is amazing basically. ] You seem to really know quite a bit about the French language and France. I'm obsessed with France, so it was the summary of this story and the title that really piqued my interest and now I am glad that I decided to check this story out. You add all the right amounts of humor, and you use such vivid details. In short, I love this story. I only just discovered it today and I read all 12 chapters in one sitting. I am in love with your characters! Keep up the awesome work. I can't wait til the next update. ] |
![]() ![]() ![]() o thats so sad! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Sniffle. Are you ever going to update again? I miss this story. How about a Christmas chapter? Purlease? x |
![]() ![]() ![]() Hah, this is cute. Gotta love stories set in France. Your descriptions of the setting/house are really vivid. One tiny criticism (and it's just me being picky, really): some of the French phrases seem like they're translated literally from English, and in French they don't make much sense. (Like, "une course pour mon argent" doesn't mean a run for my money - to a French speaker, this wouldn't make sense at all) Not to be really harsh, but I figured you would want it to be authentic! Nice job, otherwise. |
![]() ![]() ![]() HAHA! UPDATE! |