|Reviews for Hunters|
| Spirit Tigress chapter 1 . 6/10/2008
I look forward to reading more in the future; if you plan on continuing this story.
| Ziomster chapter 1 . 9/6/2007
Not a bad start. So far Tidar seems to be a rather not so likeable guy, but it's just the beginning. I like his idea about what's worth sacrificing your life for though.
I have high hopes for this story and I do hope you'll update in the near future.
| Natasha the Starcreator chapter 1 . 8/19/2007
Not bad. This is going to be good! I'm sure Tidar's gonna wipe them out! Can't wait for chapter 2!
| anti-climax chapter 1 . 8/16/2007
hey, firstly thanks for the review on Deathscrye :)
Tidar; Hunter... coincedence huh? But in any case, your Tidar is the main character and mine is merely cannon fodder lol... interesting though how we both came up with the name P
Now, on the story...
I always believed that a comma or a fullstop should be placed before the closing of a dialogue sentence. Like for example- "Excuse me, sir," he said -or- He said "Excuse me, sir." Not all that important, and it doesn't affect the story flow though you may want to check that.
Another important matter: avoid mixing up your tenses. I have this problem too sometimes and it really helps to reread your chapter before you post it; btw, is english your primary language? Just a curiousity )
Yea, don't mix your tenses up if you can help it. When a sentence is constructed in past tense, leave it in past tense; in present, make it present and so on.
'The boy seemed to be slightly nervous with Tidar’s presence, but still manage to speak up with a solid voice'
As you wrote 'the boy seemed to...', manage ought to have been written in past tense as in 'managed'
'He noted boy’s eyes'. Missed out some words here I think, the sentence seems to be a little stunted. '..that the...' would do nicely.
'Fight broke out'. A fight, or Fights would be better utilised.
'..last, two soldiers...' Comma is not required.
'making both soldiers charged at him instantly' This part of the sentence is in present tense, so it 'charge' not 'charged'.
'Life escaping his body before he managed to do that.' Escaping ought to be escaped.
'Instinctually' I think the word here is instinctively?
"Y-you didn’t gave the order to drop your weapons, sir." I think this sentence ought to be phrased slightly differently. Maybe-'You didn't give the order, sir, to disarm them.'
It's a nicely paced story though I don't entirely agree with Tidar's reasoning. You've ended off nicely with a cliffhanger and have succeeded in making this interesting so good work.
A little fine-tuning of your grammar would make this work even better though. :) Hope my suggestions have helped and also that I haven't offended you in any way
| ZeektheBard chapter 1 . 8/11/2007
Well, the beginning is pretty good. Tidar's logic of not helping the soldiers is slightly weird, but I liked the depth behind it all.
I must say that this has potencial, so I do hope you'll continue!
| Shang chapter 1 . 8/8/2007
Well, there's a taste of randomness in it, but I must say that this story has potencial. I'm glad you're not doing a typical 'beat them all' story and trying to put depth into the events.
Something tells me I may grew to like your work. Hope you'll update!