Reviews for A Fading Light
noriepie chapter 9 . 5/1/2008
omg, that is so sad

how insensitive!

i can feel her pain
smilingsoprano chapter 27 . 3/16/2008
I'll skip the congratulations, as you know how I feel about your writing.

*For other readers, spoilers ahead*

At the beginning of the story, you asked for suggestions to make it more plot-oriented. Well, here's mine. I think there should be a bit more urgency to Rakyr's mission. His father is dying! As much as you conveyed that he was sick, I personally didn't catch the sense that he was ever in real danger. You could talk more in the beginning about how frail he looked, how his children were finally realizing that their father wasn't immortal, how shaken Rakyr was when he realized that his powers didn't work. You could even write that scene, with Rakyr attempting time and time again, with all that pent-up energy he had, to heal his father, and time and time again failing. That could be very powerful.

Then, as he becomes involved with Ilana, you could return to his earlier thoughts about how he didn't want distractions. That could be another reason for some of his reticence; he doesn't want to be responsible for his father's death, and feels that a romance would slow him down enough to make that a possibility.

And finally, when he decides to turn the boat around . . . I was shocked at how quickly he made that decision. In a moment, he chose a nebulous, unsure promise of possible love over his father's life! We know that Ilana will save Kell, but Rakyr doesn't. I felt like there should have been much pacing and hair-tearing. And then when he learns that she is in Shayark with the plant, that should be a moment of overwhelming relief; his father won't die because of his tortured decision!

Sorry if these comments feel a bit pushy. You may disregard them if you like, but I think they would improve the pace and drive of the story as a whole. Thanks for listening!
kavithaa chapter 27 . 2/21/2008
I cannot find the words to explain my liking of this series. This story was, unsurprisingly, just as good as the previous three in the series. I'm impatient to begin the fifth story, so I'll be off now,

beek chapter 27 . 2/17/2008
This one took be by surprise, oddly enough I think I liked the parts with Amy & Nick more than those with Rakyr and Ilana, something I wasn't expecting.
kingrankar76 chapter 27 . 2/10/2008
I really love almost all your stories that I have read so far. I love happy endings.
Carrie chapter 27 . 12/15/2007
I love this series!

Ah, when I got into reading the first one I did not realize how amazing it was going to be.

Addictive, as well.

I've been reading about one a night and it's really hard to do. They're amazing, though.

Fantastic work.
zwildkat chapter 1 . 11/10/2007
Hi! Rakyr's story is a bit of a let down, didn't like him to be saddled with am eccentric,barbarian of a woman. I was hoping more of an ingenue, innocent girl-woman with a heart of gold but with a puckish wit. Rakyr IMHO is a beta male, which was a disappointment because I was expecting more from him from the build-up he was given from the previous story.

Your characters are not clones of each other. They are unique and have their individual idiosyncrasies.

I love your stories. Thanks for sharing us your work. Your brilliance, keen intelligence and creativity shines through your opus. Keep up the good work! More pls!
Amazed chapter 27 . 9/27/2007
Again, fantastic. You have no idea how much I enjoy the things you write.
Erisah Mae chapter 27 . 9/25/2007
Very, Very cute ending, and overall I liked this story, although weirdly enough I kind of felt sorry for the nephew of Albren's who ended up getting stood up at his own wedding. One has to wonder if he knew that he was merely an excuse, and if he knew, how did that make him feel?

Otherwise, I enjoyed this, like the others.


Erisah Mae chapter 26 . 9/25/2007
"she came to realize, but to such an extant that she wondered "

The nitpicker returns- "extent". also, near the end of the last chapter, you used the spelling "viscious" instead of "vicious".

Finally Ilana and Rakyr realise the obvious! i.e. that they are perfect for one another.

Good :D though I found the escape by Ilana and Efrem a little rushed.

Erisah Mae chapter 11 . 9/25/2007
"While he was still, ufortunately, alive,"

I'm nitpicking, but still.

Completely love what you've done with Leandra's character by the way. Always fun to watch a milksop turn into a brawler XD
Erisah Mae chapter 10 . 9/25/2007
A few slight typos in this chapter...

"Something had changed in Kirik this morning, "

"My family took notice, but with the indulgence of a begign spirit, "

Otherwise, loving it :)

A more in depth review to come later
Keja Toshiro chapter 6 . 9/16/2007
illjwamh chapter 27 . 8/17/2007
Hm, what to say on this one. You handled the relationships well, as I've come to expect, and you even managed to make the fact that two people who have little in common and have never met could fall madly and desperately in love with each other in a matter of days somewhat plausible. Not a plot aspect I'd recommend using frequently, but it works from time to time, and it did indeed work here.

Moving along, you say you'd like a little more story and a little less romance. I agree - mostly. The amount of romance is fine. I wouldn't put in any more, but the amount you have works great. The problem is that while all your other books had a basic conflict outside of the romance to drive the story, the one here is rather weak. It almost seems like an excuse to get the selected characters together than an actual problem - a convenient plot device, if you will. As opposed to being an interesting side-plot to keep us emotionally involved with the characters, the romance has become the main focus of this piece, and I think it detracts from what it could potentially be.

I think if you could get another plot element woven in here to complicate things more it would help the story immensely. You wouldn't even have to bring in any more characters if you didn't want to (though if you did, make sure the existing ones are part of this new element as well). If you don't want to add anything else, expand on what you already have. Nick's rivalry with Damison is a goldmine for story material, but you only really touched on it twice, and once very briefly. And the resolution was so quick (though I must admit that despite its brevity it was very exciting).

Leandra's father provides another treasure trove of plot material that went unused. What are his reasons for insisting his daughter go along with the contract? How did he build his empire so quickly? Why was he considering a contract with Damison at all? These are all things that could be explored with the benefit of adding a sense of intrigue and suspense to the story without adding in any more romance, of which there is of course plenty already.

As far as what you already have is concerned, I think I found myself far more interested in Nick and Amy's story than in Ilana and Rakyr's. Once or twice I was actually tempted to skip the Horave chapters to get back to Shrieven (I never did, of course; my principles would not allow it, haha). This might be due to a vested interest in their relationship, have not only met them both already, but having seen them together. They have a history, and we as readers share that with them. I think subconsciously even you were drawn by this, since the Nick/Amy scense seemed more emotionally charged in the way they were written...but that might just be my own bias again.

Perhaps if you had given us some of that history with the other two it would help. Ilana is mentioned briefly in Book 3, and we are introduced to Rakyr, but neither get much screen time or characterization - the former nearly none at all. If, during the course of Will and Alys' tale, we come to know their siblings a little better, we might care about them more when they get their own story. I am even picturing a cameo-style encounter between the two of them (that neither will remember later, of course) when Rakyr accompanies Will to the Holy City that first time to get Alys. If nothing else, it would be kind of funny.

That's it from me for now. I look forward to your next one. At least you slowed down a little in posting them. You've been putting stuff up faster than I can read it, haha.
illjwamh chapter 10 . 8/16/2007
Ilana mentions growing up in the palace here, which I don't recall her bringing up before, yet Rakyr does not find this at all surprising. He in turn very nearly lets his own identity slip while explaining his situation afterwards.

In terms of the two of them keeping their true positions secret from each other, suspension of disbelief is becoming difficult.
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