|Reviews for CastHaven|
| fairyfiredust chapter 4 . 8/19/2008
wow it has been a while, i'd completely forgotten about this story! nice to see it bck tho, i'm looking forward to seeing where it goes, love the premise!
just one query - what kind of setting is it supposed to b? at first i thought it was the standard fantasy-medieval thing, but then they talked about guns and bombs. is it more sci-fi?
| fairyfiredust chapter 3 . 8/31/2007
words cannot express how much i love this story!i honestly cannot explain what it is, but it is simpl amazing. if i had this as a book i would read it all in one night!
you really create suspense so well, leaving us wondering what the wars are really about, how she became so unfeeling, and now what exactly their argument was about. i would pay good money to read her diary! and your characters are really - not likeable, but - appealing. i think that's the best word.
just i couple of editing points if i may?
“Yes, but you, I think it changed the most. You have lost your ability to feel. And I fear that you’ll soon begin to lose yourself.” - i think there's a word missing in the first line here
“I thought u believed that killing innocents serves no purpose,” he accused. - probably obvious when you see the sentance on its own like that, but you spelt 'you' as 'u'.
She flipped to the last entry she had wrote. - this should be 'written', not 'wrote'.
3 very minor points though! plz update soon as now that i've moved and have internet again i can read fiction! i never realised a wk without internet is such torture when you're on holiday and distracted!
| The Ferrett chapter 2 . 8/14/2007
Oh. That was... wow. Very detailed, very emotional and a touch sentimental. Good work. I think it needs a third chap to bring it to a close though, or maybe contuinue, your choice. Very cool nonetheless. ((This is an RR review.))
| Liviania chapter 2 . 8/14/2007
Very well done! I love the contrast between the husband and the wife's narration. I must say I enjoy her chapter more, simply because it's so chilling.
| fairyfiredust chapter 2 . 8/9/2007
hey! i wondered where you'd got to. i noticed that you're other story hadn't been updated in a while and was worried you'd disappeared. how's you're summer? do you have a 6 wk summer break like we do? myself, i've been in america for three weeks - i love it there! the moment i can, i think i'm gonna move to washington.
anyway, i like this story! you're attention to detail is amazing, i just get bored writing that much description, but its worth the time you put in. a fantastic way to start the story, leaves you nincely intrigued and ready to learn more. will you go back so we see some of the stuff she's done? or will it only be alluded to? i'd like to learn more about what the war was about. nice to see a woman in a position of power, even if she is misusing it!
one small comment - at the end of the first chapter you wrote 'Much had changed between his wife and he'. i don't think that's grammatically correct, but i understand why you wrote it like that, so never mind!
i hope you get some more readers for this, it's excellent. cant wait for more!
| FreakierThanThou chapter 2 . 8/8/2007
Wow. This is really, really great. It feels like every little detail is perfectly aligned to give the reader a better sense of the character, but it does that only when I read it analytically, not overplanned.
I love the way you call her 'exquisite' when it's from her husband's point of view, and 'pretty' when it's from hers.
Are you planning on giving the characters names? I was slightly confused in the first chapter, when you introduced the husband and also the man reading the Book of Promises, was it called? If you continue to introduce characters, you probably should name them all, but for now, it's okay.
It's a great story, and the character's motives are already coming clear, without actually telling us yet all the things they do. You make it seem like the two of them really care about each other, just as they're in the middle of pointing how what horrible people they both are. I love it.