Hehe what a cute little story. I like that the fire has a name and is treated like another creature, it kind of took me a second to figure it out which I think made it pretty awesome. I think the end was a bit rushed, but I can understand why. Also, I love the wolfie's names, they're all very cute.

-Lorki

Aw... So cute... Can you write a sequel to this one about the pups or something?

That was amazing! You're an great writer! It was a very nice story and I enjoyed it. :D

Pretty good! I'm not sure it's your best writing, but it's up there. I guess there were a couple of places where the wording was a bit awkward... let's see if I can find one. Hmm, okay. "It smelled not just like some weird animal, but rather not like an animal at all." I can't quite put my finger on what exactly needs fixing, but I can come up with a better version... something like this: "The scent was not merely that of a strange animal-in fact, it didn't smell like an animal at all." I guess your "not just like" is a problem. I dunno. Sorry about that. 0_0

When I saw the word "wolven", it made me raise an eyebrow. So I looked it up, and it isn't in my dictionary, at least... if you mind about that. ;D

I loved the description of fire, though, as a living thing. I think that's one of your strong points-like in your riddle, actually. _ After talking about the Voran's claws and teeth, it was absolutely perfect to say that the Humans had domesticated it! Great job on that.

The second half or so felt a bit rushed, but I reckon that's not your fault... it's that stupid word limit! ;P Those things are problematic. I was writing a fanfic chapter recently, and found, to my dismay, that it was already 2700 words-and I wasn't even done yet! I solved the problem by splitting it into two chapters, but unfortunately that isn't an option for you. Oh well. Keep up the good work-and write more of Some Kids! :D

Runningflame

very good, though extremely rushed at the end

probably because it had to be only 2,0 words

might i suggest taking out the last sentence,

and if your up to it, making this only a first chapter?

it's just a thought

xo

cams