|Reviews for War of Clans: Chosen Destiny
| Melladonna chapter 7 . 10/15/2007
A short chapter, but not bad at all. Don't get discouraged because of the lack of reviews, I'd suggest that you should go and read other's works and even ask if they would read your stories.
It's something helpful that may get you to be better known.
| mapusyaw chapter 3 . 10/9/2007
hello. i read your message in the forum "Your Manga" about your trouble with your stories. among your other stories, this one seemed to be your "baby" that's why i chose to review this.
first and foremost, FP is a huge writting community so don't be surprised if you only have few reviews simply because it's difficul to find an audience, what with the huge number of stories around in this site. btw, i am hoping you're the type who's open to honest feedback...
as for your story well. i say that it has a lot of potential but it borders on the cliche: the chosen one who becomes most powerful who conquers all. tried and tired format, so to speak. personally, i have no problems with cliche but i'm the type of reader who's more drawn to character-driven stories than the plot-driven one (better if it's a combination of both).
War of Clans however is more of the plot-driven type. judging by your title, i can deduce that fate plays a huge part in this story but it would't hurt if you outline or hint about the intentions that drive the characters to make them more "tangible". readers like characters they can relate with. on the other hand, readers dislike characters that seem to perfect. it's the type you call Mary Sue's or Gary Stu's.
a brief history of the setting is ok, like what you did with the prologue but repeating them all at once in the next chapter would be redundant.
i would also like to comment on the info and stats that you place whenever a new character is introduced. no offense but i find it anticlimatic. let the reader find out the abilities of each character instead of displaying them all at once. i prefer to have found out about the main character's background during the course of the story...not in a "footnote".
i hope this helps.
| Iced Milk Tea chapter 4 . 9/15/2007
Only 2 words I could think of, and wish I could write longer, but continue to update :)
| Melladonna chapter 3 . 9/14/2007
Intersting chapters you have there. Marx sounds very interesting. I'd like to know more about him.
| Melladonna chapter 1 . 8/18/2007
An interesting story and definitely going on my alerts list. This has potential and a lot of it as well. It's beautifully written and has likable characters.
I'll add you to my alerts list so I can better track your progress.
Also, if you have the time, you can check out some of my stories if you'd like.
| Iced Milk Tea chapter 1 . 8/13/2007
Hi, Your story has a great plot, and could be very well be a great story. Keep Updating :)
Oh and if you could mind reading my story it would be great :)