Holy hell, the first chapter was thrilling.

I like how much more is given about James being demanding. (Or maybe through the ordeal I forgot?) Thank you for redoing. (Didn't catch me by surprise this time- I proudly strut.)

Talk about sending a text back... (Thank you for updating/redoing, even though it sent me in to flurried panic- again! "What! This didn't happen? Why isn't she freaked out that he's contacted her again? Wait what is this? Oh! OH! I forgot... it's... redone. Okay. Good. I'm calm.")

Thanks n...n

Brilliant. Um, you forgot to mention that they were playing hide and seek. You said (and I'm paraphrasing) "why don't we play something more familiar?" and then Blake said, "Isn't that a children's game?" You forgot to mention the name of the game. Thought I'd tell you. Anyways, update soon!

Great story so far! Keep it up! :D

*shrugg* Jesus! But one thing I didnt get, what is a penalty round?

GM is so creepy! But i love him anyway.

i love you story it is so awsome.

ohmyjesus.

i like this version somewhat better.

makes GM seem more evil.

lol

!

i really, really love this story. update soon please!

Saw this recommended on Nefertiry's profile... now I know why.

BRILLIANT.

I had recently read this story before you started revising the whole story. I had enjoyed the story and the intricate chess games that the GM, Val and everyone else played.

However, I have a bit of constructive criticism from a reader's point of view. You had mostly everything well done in this story - the grammar, the plot. Though I always felt that this story was kind of missing something, I personally think that the characters didn't have enough depth or characterisation and this was very much a plot-driven story. The characters had everything a character should have, but I felt that they needed to have that little more extra depth.

Also I had trouble actually connecting with or caring about the character, so when close to Val died, it didn't have that much of an impact for me. I think this might have to do with the character's depth and characterisation.

Lastly, I felt the end of the story was a bit anti-climatic - but that's just my opinion :P But hey, that's what sequels are for right?

Anyways, I just read the first four chapters of your revised story, and I do believe there have been improvements in both areas, and just being better overall D

Hopefully, my constructive criticism was useful to you. Even if it was only from a reader's point of view ;P and I hope that you keep updating this revised Horrorscape. D

EXCELLENT. My favorite chapter thus far. Really great stuff.

Definitely an interesting concept. I love stories that have that "game from hell" base. But I was just wondering, are you sure Val should be taking Geometry, seeing that she's a senior and all? I took that class in 8th grade. I think the standard classes for where I live is:

freshman geometry

sophomores Advanced Algebra

Juniors FST

Seniors Precalc.

Juniors/Seniors AP Calc

Seniors AP Statistics

It just feels weird reading about a senior in geometry. But whatever :D

I never read the original of this, so I definitely want to find out what happens!