Reviews for fairywings
effervescent-sentiments chapter 1 . 1/9/2009
I'm not sure (un)glamorous is what you mean to say. If it isn't glamorous, what is it? Ridiculous? Gaudy? Say what you mean. The parenthesis don't add much.

Trips carefully. You should emphasize that aspect of the woman's character. She purposefully trips to look in a mirror. What an interesting trait.

Some awkward syntax in the last stanza. Try getting rid of unneeded articles and rewording so that the modifiers are next to their nouns and verbs, et cetera.

The same goes for the parenthesis. It's not an (un)fairytale. What is it? A nightmare? In fact, reality? You're delving into the "big idea" mistake poets fall into.

~Effervescent-Sentiments
diffident chapter 1 . 9/17/2007
I'm being a total dork (and my English teacher would love this), but I love the paradoxes and use of color in this. Tripping carefully-that's a paradox. And I love how her memory is black and white when her life is so colorful, and the gross juxtaposition of glamor and the dusty old theme that pervades this. Excellent job.

marie

ps: I lovelovelove your pen name!
lookingwest chapter 1 . 8/16/2007
beautiful
Tytherpol chapter 1 . 8/16/2007
it's pretty.
Ashelin chapter 1 . 8/16/2007
Interesting thought pattern. I thought the last paragraph was a bit rushed, but it was still good. I really loved the first stanza though. Good job, keep it up.