Reviews for Heat
felicia13 chapter 1 . 8/25/2007
Sounds a lot like X again. Not a bad thing, I promise. Seems to be the root of all her problems, though, the Internet.

I can't say I care for the rhyming, but I do like what it does for the poem, structure- and content-wise. The rhymes themselves, though... leave something to be desired.

All-in-all, a nice poem. It's like sadness wrapped in anger wrapped in sadness. I like that.


TaltushMeiMei chapter 1 . 8/19/2007
Hmm. Interesting overall, but there's something about this poem that gives me the feeling of pressure and effort. Probably the rhymes. They felt a bit forced at times. Sorry, wrong word. Not forced, but they didn't flow at times. The Deja vu thing sort of lost me, especially since I don't think there should be a comma there anyways. The rhymes gave me the feeling that you sat down and struggled with them (more the first two stanzas) and that kind of brought this poem down just a bit. I like the topic and I really like the last stanzas, but if only the first two flowed better, this could be a really good poem. I'd try to go over it, maybe be a little more slack with the rhymes (stuff like proof/truth could work better - still the feel, but it could make more sense as well). With a bit of editing, this could be really good.