I really like the way this went. The only thing I'd have to say is that maybe you should put in some sort of separation for when he's talking and when she is, because it was a little confusing. Otherwise, great job!

I'm a sucker for more detail. But this one-shot is pretty well written so maybe you shouldn't... If you did write it though - i'm sure you'd do it well :)

Sukanya

i would love to read it if you made it a full length story :D

it's really cute

I thought it was sweet, in a kind of twisted way.

I laughed at the summary, it was funny.

I would definitely read more, if it was dragged out with some more detail.

Keep up the great work!

Full-length story sounds great! Great job with this story!

i think u should leave it the way it is. more impact!

so true love or lead up to domestic violence?

i love the ambiguity.

holy crap. that is realy good. Even for a one shot (which I don't usually read) it is amazingly well written. I don't know how well it would do as a short story, but you have a very distinct writing style that I enjoy, so you might be able to pull it off.

I'm am sickeningly jelous of your talent, :p

I think its nice the way it is, but if you want to make it a story, go right ahead.

I just finished reading your story. At first when I read the summary I thought oh.. that's sweet... but when I read the story it self it occurs to me that it is not sweet at all... it's more like... umm an obsession? His want to posess her? That's just the feeling I get though.. and I feel that this a rather dark story.. and I feel like you are telling the story backward or maybe just in chronological order.. not sure though.. and it would make a very awesome prologue - if ever you decide to make series out of it.

There is this line that you wrote 'Those feelings lasted for 2 weeks, and during those 2 weeks I stayed faithful,...' from there it seems like the guy continue to cheat on the girl.. and the way he say the girls seems to imply more than just two girls.. and if the story does went on chronologically, then the time he propose would be around that two week time... and if after that two week he went on cheat on her again... it means he do so even after they are engaged and when they are married..

I also notice that when he proposed he didn't wait for her reply, whether she agreed or not. Don't know if that is signficance or not probably I'm just making too much of it.. imagination running wild..

Ah.. that was kinda long.. I hope you don't mind.. _ thank you for writing and sharing this, the mood of the story is very well done. Hope to see you writing more _

AWW that was so sweet!

Absolutely brilliant, it’s going in my favourites

this is exactly as your first line says "a healthy relationship is never perfect" you've shown this really well! It is great as a one-shot, but it also has the potential to be continued. lol. great job!

This is really good. Not feel-good, not feel-bad. More like life.

A lot said in one short piece.

AW OMG THIS IS SO SWEET...i shall put u on my favourites list D