|Reviews for Time Walkers|
| Regin chapter 5 . 9/25/2008
I Like, I Lust, I Love!Please Update Soon!
| atreyu love chapter 5 . 8/19/2008
congrats on Juliard :)
&& who will she fall for?
| Siana chapter 5 . 3/11/2008
You have a lot of little things that can be fixed with just more proof-reading. For instance, there are some grammatical things (comma splices and such), and the fluidity isn't always there. Fluidity is a good thing, haha. It makes for an easier read, which the reader always appreciates and thus it encourages them to continue reading. As for the proof-reading, you can always get an outside party to do it. Either a reader on here or a friend that you trust with your work.
I have no faults with the content; in fact, I'm quite enjoying it as it's not the usual stuff I read on here.
Good work. :)
| Siana chapter 4 . 3/11/2008
Just one comment on this chapter - "As if on cue, three burly looking men came barging through the door. They all bore a strong resemblance to the man that had tried to attack her in the room where she’d awoken. Maybe it was the uniform stark white clothing and hair. And who could forget the red eyes."
Make sure you keep an eye out for 1st person as opposed to 3rd...
Still really enjoying it!
| Siana chapter 3 . 3/11/2008
So far this is really good, but make sure you proof-read. When Evelyn first finds out the year, you have it as '2031' instead of '2301'. Also, for a narrative written as a journal of past events, it could be a little bit smoother. It's not like a journal entry from the actual day it happened, so the coherency and flow of the narrative shouldn't entirely be affected.
I really liked how you named them "Mr. White" and such - it was a touch of "Reservoir Dogs", even if you didn't intend it to be that way. You could also play with that idea a bit; in RD, they aren't ever supposed to know each other's names, and when they are told it is a sign of implicit trust. So although the two brothers have introduced themselves, you could work in that idea somehow if you're interested.
All in all, I like it, and I'm definitely interested in seeing where you take it.
| CarlyJo chapter 5 . 3/11/2008
Great Chapter! I loved the way you described the chaaracters in this one! And was that an inuendo I heard? :3 ) Congrats! That's great! Hope tests and eveything don't kill you!
~Carly :3 )
| CarlyJo chapter 4 . 2/15/2008
Oh, and the plot thickens. I loved it! And I can't wait for more! UPDATE SOON!
~Carly :3 )
| iheartcarebears chapter 4 . 2/14/2008
Your story is fantastic and origional and I absolutely love it. I don't know why you only have like eight reviews because your story rocks. Please update soon.
| CarlyJo chapter 3 . 1/20/2008
Ooh. I love it! There mystery to it, which is always good. The way you have the time travel going, it's actually realistic. If that's possible. I can't wait to see what'll happen next! UPDATE SOON!
~Carly :3 )
| amber-skies chapter 2 . 11/17/2007
this is a really good story, but you really need to update it sometime soon! yeah i know, i can't talk cause i never update my stories, but the difference is, you're actually GOOD at writing!
| Fleeting Moment chapter 2 . 8/24/2007
OMG! Where did they go?
| Counting Petals chapter 2 . 8/24/2007
Ouch, 5 APs? I had 4 last year, and it almost killed me. I dunno what I was smoking, taking both Euro and Gov. Anyway, onto the story...
I loved it. It's so different from whatever else is floating around on this site. Maybe it's just because I'm a little bit of a nerd (ok, A LOT of a nerd), but I thought it was funny. I can't wait to read more!
| CarlyJo chapter 1 . 8/24/2007
This seems really cool. If it's anything like your other stories it should be great. I can't wait to read more. UPDATE SOON!
| amber-skies chapter 1 . 8/23/2007
this is really good, a very interesting plot, and concise prologue/first chapter - it explains quite a bit and gives a clear idea of what the story is going to be about...i'm off to read the rest of your stories now! keep writing