Best line is I left Michael to die

I wonder if you ever check your reviews anymore? I read this story ten years ago when I was fourteen and it never let my head. It was so sweet and funny. I hope you're still writing, wherever you are.

This story was a trip.
The writing style really reflected Jayden's rather spontaneous and chaotic personality. Though a bit hard to keep up with I thought it worked.
I feel like more could have been done with the other characters to influence the turns of the story because of how much they interacted with a generally instable Jayden.
I liked Jayden's character, and how he was a bit of a hoe and not a goodie two shoes.
The lack of parental affection may have cause his apparent thirst for attention and lack of being able to deal with serious emotional relationships.
I feel like, despite his rather cookie cutter life, he could still be a layered character.
BUT FUCK I REALLY WISH YOU DELVED DEEPER INTO THAT AND ANALYZED WHO JAYDEN WAS AND WROTE SOMETHING THAT WOULD ACTUALLY TELL A STORY WITH A CONCLUSIVE ENDING BECAUSE DAMN I DO NOT FOR ONE SECOND BELIEVE JAYDEN WILL STAY FAITHFUL TO MICHAEL BECAUSE JAYDEN HAS ISSUES. I REALLY LIKED A LOT OF THINGS AND THIS HAS POTENTIAL BUT FUUUUUCK THE ENDING LEFT ME LIKE BLEEEEEEEEGH WHAT THE FUCK
But yeah, keep up the good work and maybe look at this as a potential rewrite. Absolutely hated the ending, but overall I feel this story and it's characters have potential.

Okay, so I read some of the reviews and this story is either a hit or miss with people. With me it's a hit. I like how Jayden is not a complete goody two shoes and how he seems to have problems dealing with real relationships (probably from lack of relation development with his family and others). People think his family situation is cliche and boring, but I think the character you made Jayden to be makes that possibility void. It was a different way to handle a character who's nearly being neglected or just not getting enough attention.
Also, this whole story (I'm on ch8), I've been getting the feeling that Jayden is gay, but is 1, just finding out because of his closeness w/ jake and lack of relationships w/people (so he says he woke up gay, but really he's always just been gay all along) 2, flaunting it because he wants attention and love.
I saw criticism about the looks, smells, tastes gay lines. I just want to say as a bisexual person I did not feel offended at all. I actually laughed and raised an eyebrow. It was funny because it seemed something a little kid would say or AND ignorant teen who knows nothing about members of the LGBT community(which is what Jayden was). I thought of those lines as something the character thought, not the author.
Okay, and lastly, organization. I honestly like how chaotic it all is. It adds to Jayden's character. He seems to be a free spirit and since it's from first person, I like how the narration reflects that characteristic.
I mean, I like it man. Not too shabby.

IS IT STRANGE TO SHIP TOMAS AND JAY? OMG WHAT"S HAPPENING TO ME

Kellie Chronity- I am offended by how unapologetically rude you are. A truly great writer would give constructive criticism. Your review proved to be quite belligerently rude(sorry if you do not know what that word means)...not fun to hear, is it? This is what is wrong with the world. Immaturity and bigotry. I view your review as your way of hiding you do not know how to truly write. After all, the most beautiful thing about writing, is simply the unique styles everyone has. Sadly, only a dignified writer would speak of such peacefulness. Make our past writers proud. Be kind, always...and never forget to help others-not tear them down.

This is just terrible. Right now I'm sad because you write so terribly. I'm so sorry for you.

Okay where do I start.
Family- You basically start off giving the mother and the brother stereotypical personalities. Specifically The House Wife and The Goth. Doing this you pretty much put those characters into a flat box. "...they didn't even bother with me". Well okay now I expect that the parent character are basically non existent. How do you expect to have character development when the family he interacts with is limited to his "goth brother".
His only friend. You know the one that's popular. How... descriptive of you. I can totally see his interesting personality and his diverse character background. Cough Sarcasm Cough. Its not like your going to base his entire character on the main characters sexuality and feelings. Oh wait looks like you are.
Lets go to the fact that your thoughts are all over the place. Now funny random things totally fine. But your organization with this is all over the place. Its painful really.
Your dialogue is basic, boring, and predictable.
Your description on how one "looks" gay, "smells" gay, and "taste" gay is very insulting. Your basically saying that gay people look, smell, and taste distinctively gay. As if every gay person is a carbon copy or as if their is a way gay people should look/smell like/taste like.
Wtf are you on? Just... Why?
Just because you wake up like that doesn't make you gay (unless the point of the story is to show how ridicules these thoughts are; then its funny).
GASP! I'm gay! I wake up gay! That's probably the best and funniest line there to be honest.
He sounds so sure that he's gay... He better go tell his mom though... He also needs some gay porn apparently... (Lets ignore the emotional factor ENTIRELY because apparently that's A OK)
I'm that friends laughing his butt off.
Okay I'm going to read farther. I really hope this chapter is what I'm expecting from the rest of the story.

Woah woah woah, what the fuck is this?

Omg I lived this story so much! The over protective brother was great! I love you keep writing!

LOL. I don't think he will get any boyfriend with his Personality, he doesn't have any brain

Oh my god :V

Those Line tho, so fucking funny
"Rain God"
"First gay date"

Fuck, he is a douche
I'm laughing out loud

I loved it! It's cute, sweet, funny, and something different. I'll definitely be rereading very soon ...

Oh, my, god... This story is so good. There should be a film made based on this :O