Reviews for Lost Tie |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Amazing! |
![]() ![]() There is nothing wrong with this story. It's fabulous. I loe matt's character n d fact he actually stole the tie. I can't see y people didn't give it reviews but i'll let you know that this is a brillant work. Pls write more oneshots like this |
![]() ![]() ![]() haha, looks like you don't have 2review ;) you now have 36. good job ! :) |
![]() ![]() Wow awsomely vivid keep up the good work |
![]() ![]() Loved the story, by the way this is the 3rd story I have read by you that is about best friends sleeping together, by any chance do you happen to have a hot male friend with black hair and an earring? |
![]() ![]() ![]() lol well now you have 33 reviews. That was a great story thank you for posting it. |
![]() ![]() i like it, more details would be good. and maybe longer.. |
![]() ![]() ![]() effin' loved itt. i'm not usually into these, but it's great. Über smexii! |
![]() ![]() Haha so he did steal her dad's tie... great story- very sexy |
![]() ![]() ![]() Great plot. But... I wonder how he managed to get a hold of her father's tie...? |
![]() ![]() ![]() haha he really did steal her dads tie! lols luved as i do all your other stories! they r all amzin! |
![]() ![]() ![]() i loved this soty! i say that it was very good! SEXY! it made me all hot n bothered lol but yeah u have talent D |
![]() ![]() ![]() I liked the idea of the story and enjoyed reading it, especially that little quirky bit at the end there with the tie (LOL! Naughty!), but there are several improvements that could be made in terms of general grammar stuff. If you get a beta or someone to look it over to polish it up (or go look at some grammar websites... Google it), you'd have a pretty neat (both literally and figuratively) one-shot. Just a few things I caught: Dialogue almost always begins in a new line/new paragraph. Paragraphs shouldn't be too long (coz' then they just look like huge chunks of text on screen, which doesn't look pretty and definitely does not make reading easy). Commas and punctuation problems - you're missing a few commas here and there, and dialogues end with a comma (not a period) if accompanied with a speech tag e.g. "I'm sorry," he said. NOT "I'm sorry." he said. I also wish it could be just a little longer! I'd have preferred some more description about the characters or even a bit of backstory to orientate us readers. Hope this helps! |
![]() ![]() ![]() i love twists in stories and movies, and this a good twist, though it's kind of predictable from the middle already. the smut was hot too. i enjoyed it. _ |
![]() ![]() ![]() nice plot. |