|Reviews for Roswell, New Mexico|
| Shoob chapter 1 . 8/30/2008
Nice perspective. you've got some pretty good ideas. I'd recommend slowing down the pacing a little bit and take a little more time to explain everything a little more in depth, though, so it's easier for a reader to get into the feel of the story.
| Written chapter 1 . 4/24/2008
I like it! I think the end would have been better if you'd restructured it to say "he'd probably be able to see the earth once more."
as it sounds more... I don't know. it just seems like a stronger way to end it, since the structure of your sentence right now is a bit awkward. anyway :) good story.