Reviews for expanses of paper and sand
Moondog Dozier chapter 1 . 10/3/2007
This has a marvelous sound and reminescent expression. I like the constancy of the "S" sound throughout. It gives the flow a baseline. I also like the specifics of what you didn't describe. The lack of individualization helps to make this relatable to the reader, as most have had the lovegone blues that you've pinpointed so accurately. Great write. MD:77.
TaltushMeiMei chapter 1 . 9/9/2007
Despite the fact that I'm not much of a fan of the whole "no punctuation, no capitalization, etc." style, I must concede that this poem is quite good. It left a very clear, vivid image in my mind. I think that if you hadn't tried to do this style thing, you might have had a better flow. The jerky one-liners made it awkward to read aloud. Mostly, though, you created a very vivid image, one that's both touching and interesting. I also like how even though you don't fully explain what it's about, it becomes clear just by rereading. Very nice job.
Faithless Juliet chapter 1 . 9/9/2007
Powerful detail and imagery; I loved how you told such a strong story with this, and your style was amazing, it really made your words flurish. I loved this, keep up the good work.

Much love,

Juliet.