I absolutely loved it. Love the premise and the worldbuilding. The building of Bellamoon's character through the beginning, and her time at the inn, to meeting Bowen, all combines and grows beautifully. The story is wonderful, and their romance is perfectly sweet. Really great writing, thanks so much for posting.

This story was beautiful... thank you for writing it, because this story made my day.

So good!I started it out of curiosity and couldn't stop. I love the ideas, the plot line, the character development, all of it made it a very enjoyable read. There were a few minor typos here and there, but nothing that detracted from the overall enjoyability of the story. :)

Thank you for letting me read your story, Composition Note Book Girl/Aminara.

Now, for the BIG review. I thought the part in Middle Inn was a little slow. It might have been interesting if a couple of the people passing through had had the energy to tell Bellamoon their stories. This would have at least given the reader something to mark time by, even if you didn't say how long it was between each "story." I do realize that that section of the story is supposed to be timeless, but it made it hard to read. That is why there was so much time between each of my reviews then. After Bellamoon and Bowen come to the mortal world more description would be nice. What do the women's dresses look like? What do the men wear? More importantly, how was Bellamoon able to read the prices of things when the writing system had changed? Also, I think there should have been more words she wasn't fermilliar with in the third part of the story. The begining and end of the story are, what, about 800 years apart? Language can change alot in that amount of time. Just look at Chauser...and Shakespeare...and Jane Austen. Chauser is already nearly uninteligible to the modern ear. So, I would work on the sugar/letter with the wedding bouquet part. You should also make it clearer, earlier, that Aron is the king of the immortals. I was under the impression that he was more like Aries of Greek mythology. Some of your characters at the begining and end could use some more development. I don't care when they die. The reader will feel it more if they know more about the person!

Hum. That's all that I can think of for now. I did like it!

Writer's Block forever!

Primus in Perpetuum

I di think it would be interresting in this chapter if you mentioned whether the Archer family kept up the tradition of messing with tradition (did their son have a conventional wedding or a wedding like theirs where the rules were bent?)

Very funny wedding cerimony. I liked how you made it so that Bowen and Bellamoon did it the way we do now.

Is there some reprecusion to Bowen becoming mortal? Will he have a severily shortened life since he is already over 40 years old?

That was a short engagement.

Usual comments on spelling.

I didn't see this comming. I seriously thought they would be in the inn till the end of the story. (I probably should have reviewd the last chapter, but I didn't, so this is a two-fer.) There are now many more interesting possibilities with the story.

And I thought you were going to finish editing this by the end of break?

And how do you pronounce Ayey?

“But if you have to spend eighty years awake, you should get a little rest first.” Bellamoon asked,

We were supposed to meet here?”

"vaguely sick to her stumack" (sorry, my spellchecker broke) anyway - shouldn't it be vaguely sick or sick to her stomack, not both at the same time?

“She tried throwing me out you know?”

“I would be I understand a lot more than you do right now.”

"Bellamoon was about to whose way she was supposed to stay out of"

Sorry for not reading in a while. I got sidetracked.

Any way, first paragraph, it should be "lay," not "lie."

Wait, how old is Teila if she can hug Bellamoon around the knees? Her dialig sounds older than her size.

When you say the "bottom of the cave," it sounds like it is shaped like a well. Do you mean that or do you mean the back of the cave? It's just that my perspective is mixed up. Oh, I see. Maybe explain in the previous paragraph that the cave goes down rather than back. And I think you mean she still had NOT reached the bottom.

I think there should be a comma between Haton and Bellamoon.

This is just for clarification: Bellamoon traded her life for Harlan's because she felt sorry for Harlan's mother? Right?

Any why do your chapters end with the number 11?

Wait. How did she throw Harlan off?

A slightly better introduction to Bellamoon's family might not hurt. At the moment they are just names without any real character. It would be nice if the countries had names, too.

Usual typos apply.