|Reviews for Isle of Venus|
| theory of black chapter 1 . 10/15/2007
I love how you put Aphrodite in the middle of "love, reality, and dreams", because she belongs in all three. It also adds a whole new level of complexity since those three elements are already compliments of each other. I like this very much, kudos in my eyes.
| astral boy chapter 1 . 9/23/2007
hello daze. :) i loved this one. maybe it's because of the rhyme? My love of rhymes beats my hate for haiku... hahaha. Anyway, keep up the good work.
| Basara chapter 1 . 9/15/2007
*grins* yet somewhere...
| Chidori Nadare chapter 1 . 9/14/2007
Very pretty imagery and quite abstract. Like Seraph Strike, I definitely see a beautiful woman. Nice touch of mythology there. Keep writing.
| Faithless Juliet chapter 1 . 9/13/2007
I love this; romantic, but with a tint of mythology. I really enjoyed this, keep up the good work.
| water lily nymph chapter 1 . 9/12/2007
absolutely brilliant. you should make an illustrated book of all these genius haikus. oh i can hear this in a song...
| D. Rochelle chapter 1 . 9/12/2007
Although this haiku is definitely in the abstract, I get the concrete image of a beautiful woman smiling behind/between gauzy, wispy veils. Perhaps one of my favorites, but likely because I feel a strong connection to mythology.
And in response to Julian's review, 'smiles' is actually one syllable. :) 5-7-5 remains intact, and wonderfully so.
| Julius Gillian chapter 1 . 9/12/2007
I love haikus, or poetry in general that have successive lines that build up to an unexpected, and powerful line. I think this was a very gorgeous poem; very longing, very intense, and trying to peer over a horizon that's very uncertain.
This aphrodite person remains an enigma to me. I can either take her metaphorically, and call her ultimate happiness which is subjective to you alone, nirvana, or beyond life after death. Well, since you're an atheist, death is the ultimate happiness because all your emotions simply dissolve and you're in a constant field of nothingness where you simple cease to exist. No more pain or suffering, which is beyond reality and dreams, but it doesn't quite fit in with love. You do realise a very many people, as I'm sure us atheists do, have a tendancy to put a negative face on death. Well, that's just point of view again I suppose.
Now literally, I can guess you have a lover. Therefore, this poem is linear to your own personal experience with a woman, or some ideal woman you'd be attracted to.
hah, this is all pure speculation.
But I love the way you make this haiku. You state three significant roles in human nature that shape our lives, open the reader to something beyond it, and close with a mystical entity that is profound and simple simultaneously.
The only problem I have with the piece is the last word, smiles. Isn't that two syllables? smi 1, les1. So that adds up to be Aphrodite 4 Smiles 2 which is too much. 5,7,6. :S
I think it's perfect the way it is nonetheless. I'm a bit of a perfectionist, so when I see mistakes like that I'll dismantle the piece and half-heartidly start over. But I hope you don't do that. This was very powerful, passionate, and mystical.