|Reviews for She's Just Shy|
| Setsuna529 chapter 1 . 6/15/2008
Your poetry is really fantastic.
I've read four or five of your poems at random so far, and I really like your writing style. Wonderful imagery in this one. I really like:
"So while you speak in / Casual dialogues shaped / With cheap letters tied / Together in the strings of / Disengaged interest"
And the final stanza is great, brings it all together.
Looking forward to reading more of your works.
| lymli chapter 1 . 9/20/2007
the feeling in this is so charming? well, the imagery is cute, I guess.
| no.peace.los.angeles chapter 1 . 9/16/2007
M, I love stream-of-consciousness. :) It is one fantastic form, it is. This poem is beautiful. I especially love that last stanza - "worlds wait between your words." What a gorgeous statement. I think you have to be careful with the line breaks, though; even in stream-of-consciousness, I think there should be a certain place to break lines. You're breaking lines a lot at prepositions or conjunctions or articles, and that's never really a good place to end a line. I mean, it's your choice where you end lines, of course, but it's just a word of advice. Where you break your lines affects how people read the poem, and some of these breaks don't really draw the reader's eye to the next line. I'm by no means an expert on line breaks, but I think my poem "hospital bar" utilizes line breaks in a stream-of-consciousness style really well. (If you want to read it, I'd recommend just searching for it in the search box at the top of the page, because otherwise it might take you awhile to find if you're looking through my list of things I've written.) But yes, this is still beautiful, and with just a few tweaks, it can become even better. Keep writing! :)
| RavenclawMoose chapter 1 . 9/16/2007
This poem was beautiful, wonderful, amazing. I loved the imagery, the tone, the feeling. Everything was so perfect. It was almost haunting, yet strangly whimsical at the same time. I loved it quite a bit.
| All Alone With Her Thoughts chapter 1 . 9/15/2007
Oh, wow. This is beautiful. There are so many amazing lines, I won't even bother picking some out. An amazing piece.
| the Stranger in the moonlight chapter 1 . 9/14/2007
Excellent. Nothing can ever be cast off so simply as the title suggests. Really lovely final stanza.
Its the tone often and between the lines that true meaning lies.
the Stranger in the moonlight
| SirScott chapter 1 . 9/13/2007
I liked this poem. What a nice world to be able to escape to.
| Kicking Poe chapter 1 . 9/13/2007
as a "shy" person myself, I feel like getting up and dancing crazily because someone has finally gotten it right. beautifully written, with so much intense imagery and emotion packed in I think I need to read it a few more times to catch it all. awesome work. cheers.
| The Libelist chapter 1 . 9/13/2007
This is probably the most beautiful thing I've read in months. I don't know why but the words make perfect sense to me. It's been way too long since I took a break from writing.
| PixiePixieGirl chapter 1 . 9/13/2007
That was really beautiful. The imagery is great. Maybe I'm just a dreamer, but I can see everything the speaker describes perfectly. The only thing not to my tastes is that the arrangement is abrupt; the line breaks don't seem to follow natural pauses in speech and it throws things off. Maybe that's just me, though.