Loved It!

I thought this chapter was extremely Cute!

hahaha. aww yates is too funny and adorable sometimes. is the story over now though?

*sigh* VERY VERY well written! i loved it.. finally the drama is about to end she they're all happy! i still like jack though, im disappointed she couldnt be with jack but then again im super happy she found yates because hes a great guy.. bitter sweet! lol too bad theres not 2 elliots P and you need to DEFINATELY make a sequel! prrety please? haha great job. please update soon! )

ZOMG! YAY! So what if 'zomg' and 'yay' aren't really words in the dictionary? That's how I feel right now!

I really like this chapter actually, finally they are together! All the stuff Yates comes out with is so sweet and perfect. It's like, not only is he being honest and so sweet, he's not out of character either since he's genuinely charming. So when he's charming Elliot, it's all perfect.

Also I think what Jack's done is great. About time I say. Oh and Mitch and Brooke? Great! They should be together too! )

Two more chapters only, 'tis sad. But I bet it'll be great! D

Great chapter, I love this story! A sequel would be great, but that means more drama and poss. breakups and I don't want that, Yates and Elliot make such a cute couple! Anywho, update soon! :)

aw. yates is just too sweet!

YES! THERE MUST BE A SEQUAL! IF THERE IS I WILL BURST INTO DRAMATIC TEARS OF JOY AND STOP USING CAPS!

swet.

IF You Don't Do A Sequel, I'll die...lol. Ok, that was a little over the top :-) Sorry! But I pratically just spent the whole night reading your story & I truely loved it. I never ever thought she would get with yates. That was one hell of a surprise. I really thought that her & Jack would get back together blahblah cliched! lol. DOnt get me wrong, I live for cliches, but your story made it out to be a cliche, then you switched it to an entirely new level. That was truly a wonderful surprise. Am Im writing too much yet again. But, I would just like to say that you should in my opinion do a sequel, it would fit perfectly for this story. See how everyones loves lives/lives turned out & basically who ended up with who. Cant wait for the ending! Great work!

I really like this story its interesting Im just not really feelin the whole Yates and Elliot connection. Im more of a Jack and Elliot kinda shipper. I mean yeah he hurt her and all but she still has feelings for him and he does for her. Granted if it was me I would of done what Elliot's doing but Jack is really truly sorry and not to mention head over heels for her as she is for him. I just hope they at least ACCIDENTILLY sleep together and she comes to realize he's the one...

Diana

I liked this, the whole story. It turned out different from what i expected, i liked that :) However many chapters left there are, im sure they wil be great

a drug. yates?

yepp

i thought this chapter

was very good and cute at the

same time. thanks you

for updating)

So I signed up with fictionpress JUST to leave you a review.

First, I have to say wow. I love your story. I'm completely hooked on it and can't wait for the next chapter where she WILL accept his key *here's hoping she doesn't screw it up* lol.

Anyway, let's get to a bit of negativity here since this IS a review. Like I said, love your story but there's just one thing that keeps bothering me and that is "whilst." Yes, that one single word is driving be up the wall because;

a)I feel like you use it way too much. I keep reading "she did this whilst he did that" then a couple of sentences later, "he spoke whilst he ran his hand through his hair" etc etc They're whilsting all over the place!

b)You're mixing up the time frame of the story with the Elizabethan times...at least I think they used it in the Elizabethan time. Either way, it's old. It's an old form of saying "While." You don't HAVE to change it on my account but it's like walking up to your friends now a days and saying "Oh X person how I missed thee" instead of saying "hey, I missed you"...coincidently, my friends say the prior sometimes and it's annoying as hell.

c)I recommend other ways of communicating your "whilst."

For example,

1)She brushed her hair WHILE she spoke on the phone quietly

2)She brushed her hair AS she spoke on the phone quietly

3)She brushed her hair AND spoke on the phone quietly AT THE SAME TIME

Infact, sometimes it's okay to not even use a form of "whilst" just by using a comma and rearranging the words a little.

Ex. Brushing her hair, she spoke on the phone quietly.

I feel like an English teacher -_- Anyway, I'm sure you know how to use different forms of "Whilst" since you are a writer. I guess in the long run it's not that big of a deal but it is the only thing a tad bit annoying about the story. Just a simple grammer error but in retrospect I do enjoy your plot, characters...everything else!

Like someone said earlier, I was rooting for Jack before, but he's been kind of a psycho lately. I like Yates a lot better for Elliot (although she's quite foolishly naive). But Yates is endearing, charming, protective, he wouldn't try to hurt her, he changed for her! He's completely honest with her and tries to work things out rather than jump to conclusions and mess things up. He tells her how it is straight up and all Elliot has to worry about with him is that he's going to pull out another knife on Jack while defending her honor. Can I get a round of "aw" here? Aw! And Jack just seems obsessed and stalkerish now.

Enough of my rambles! Can't wait until the next installment!

;) Fatedheart

update! For me? i always mix up your stories because I'm obsessed, and parts of the stories I think are a story by themselves, but then I learn that it's all one and I love it! I think that's how a good story is supposed to be so I have to say thank you for actually bringing a small bit of cheer into this website.