|Reviews for Over You|
| C.K.Genes chapter 13 . 11/19/2011
Chapter 13's opening line was amusing, ""I hate him," I said savagely, repeatedly stabbing my coffee ice cream with a spoon. At this point, I wasn't sure which him I hated, but saying it had a way of making me feel better. " It kinda reminds me of the beginning of the story, and it draws attention to the fact that history is seemingly repeating itself but not exactly... It also feels to me, that her grief is much more less than when she was dumped by Adam...
I love how the tide has changed, Adam is continuously sending her text messages saying things like "sorry" which is completely opposite to the text he sent her when the broke up asking about how to get Meghan back !
Again you can see River's playful personality, ""I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry I'm blue, I'm sorry about all things I said to you," I looked at him, puzzled. Why did this sound so familiar? "And I know I can't take it back.""
One of my favourite lines in this chapter: "By the time the third phone call came about, I answered and reamed him a new one, telling him if he ever tried contacting me again, he would finally understand the meaning of sorry."
Alas, the finale chapter, Chapter 14:
I think that this chapter was good for an ending. No new problems, no resolutions, just a nice conclusion and show of Charlie and River's life after overcoming their problem in their relationship. I also like how you suggested the possibility of Callie overcoming her hurt from Jeff with Alex after she let it slip that she saw the christmas tree at his house. The way you showed that she was completely over Adam was great ! The ringtone and the lyrics, smart ;)
Overall I really liked this story as it made me laugh and get serious. I also liked how at times I could relate to the characters and I admire the different personalities of the characters. Kudos for not going on and on about her birth mother, instead mentioning it, and helping her get over it to some extent.
Good job ! I hope you continue to write more stories ! I shall look out for them ! Now excuse me while I go to pop some popcorn :)
| C.K.Genes chapter 12 . 11/19/2011
Now I'm up to reviewing Chapter 12. Is Adam going to show up ? Or was Chapter 9 the last of him ? :)
Haha I can definitely say that River and Tim are my favourite characters ! Despite the small appearances of Charlie's dad, he never fails to crack me up ! Again his blunt personality is apparent as he says to Char, "Charlotte. You're my daughter and I love you, but you need to stop acting like such a bitch and talk to your friend." Ahahahaha !
Thank goodness Charlie has realised that she is over Adam ! YESSSS ! Haha sorry about that. I just found the whole Charlie and Adam thing tiring.
Sigh. I know its realistic for a character to have insecurities but why River, why ? I like how Charlie was strong enough to threaten them to leave. I also like how she kept in her tears until she reached her apartment. To me, it shows that she has grown as a character, especially in this chapter, how she outright rejects Adam and is strong enough to talk back to River after his accusation. Great job ! :)
| C.K.Genes chapter 11 . 11/19/2011
Chapter 10: please please please do not hurt River :( I like him too much ! I think Charlie deserves someone who will treat her right, unlike Adam who treats her as a reserve.
Alright back to the reviewing, I'm amazed at how calm Charlie is when River bursts into her bathroom when she's in the bath! But then again, that is Charlie's character, and I guess she is just acting calm. I liked how you described River frantically trying to unknot the robe that she so tightly tied before walking out of the bathroom. I could picture the whole thing, them making out while River fumbles for the knot! Haha !
HALLELUJAH ! River FlNALLY confesses to her ! And Charlie FINALLY understands that he likes/loves her !
OMG Jeff just HAPPENED to 'forget' to mention that he was MARRIED ? When I read it, I was like, WHAT ? This was really unexpected, I thought Callie would say that he had a fiance or something, but MARRIED? Woah ! Step back ! And I cant believe all the things Jeff said to Callie about getting and divorce and stuff - how cliche. Now the only thing to do is keep reading to see if he really does divorce his wife or not !
In Chapter 11, I could really feel the conflict inside Charlie when she was contemplating on contacting Callie or not. I could also sympathise with her when she thought that it was the best friend's job to tell her the truth. I know how it feels as I've been in a similar situation with my friend.. Anyway, just wanted to say, a job well done ! :)
Haha you made me laugh when Charlie replied to River that she was in a hurry because they had to go before he changed his mind ! And I love River's character ! How he decided to ask her to prom depending on whether the ice cracked or not ! Too cute ! ;)
| C.K.Genes chapter 9 . 11/19/2011
Chapter 8: "It was never a game to me." aww come on Char ! When are you gonna realise he's in love with you ? Oops ! Haha sorry for being so perverted ! lol ! Its cute how they JUST slept next to each other though :) Aww finally they kiss when they are alone after so long ! I like the way you described their kiss, like a first kiss with someone, but for them, it's their second ? If you count the one at the shop that is...
OMG the nerve of Adam ! I cant believe he sent sunflowers to her office ! What a douche ! Even if its just a form of apology, seriously ! Dude you HAVE a girl, and its NOT Charlie ! Somehow you changed my annoyance to amusement as I read Char say to Alex, "You speak Male, I need you to translate." haha oh how I wish there was a dictionary to translate ! Alex is so funny, reminding her to bring the pictures ! Hahaha ! I like how you do that, create a serious atmosphere, but somehow make me break into a smile when something unexpected and funny happens ! And Charlie, dont you dare go to Adam, think of River and the roses ! :)
You got my hopes up in Chapter 9 when her phone vibrated ! But alas, it is Adam. Geeze cant that guy just leave her alone ? He lost his chance ! And WHY did Charlie keep reply ? She shouldnt have ! It just encouraged him more ! Argh ! But on the plus side, River is back ! :) I like how they understand each other so well that sometimes, some words are not needed.
When you said that Charlie woke up to the sound of someone screaming, I could feel her alarm and I felt suprised myself ! I would have never thought it to be his phone ! "If I have to listen to that go off again, I'm going to kill you. And it will mask your screams." haha this line made me laugh ! Spoken like a true sleep lover ! :)
I like how you described the meeting of Jeff and River, shaking hands and talking about hockey. Such typical manly actions. Lol ! I love how you seemed to always show a bit of Rivers character in each chapter, his cheekiness and playful nature can be seen - especially when he failed to mention to Charlie the hickey on her neck !
But reeallly ? Text Adam cause she misses having a connection with someone ? Sigh. Oh Charlie, cant you see River who has always been there for you ? :(
| C.K.Genes chapter 14 . 11/19/2011
Hello :) new reader here ! Honestly, despite the story having a cliche storyline with the whole best friend's brother, dumped broken hearted girl; I cant help but laugh while reading !
In Chapter 2, when River came up to her and said, "hey beautiful", I thought, 'ahhh !' I love the way you introduced him in the next chapter and that she dreamed of kissing him ever since she was thirteen ! wish fulfilled ! :)
The whole 'propositioned' thing was funny and Callie made me laugh out loud when she said, "My brother did pretty much volunteer to be your bedroom buddy." haha if I was her I would be pretty grossed out but I find it pretty amusing how calm she is with the situation !
My favourite lines in Chapter 4:" I shook my head... "Are you on something?"
"The couch," he admitted, as if telling me something secretive. "Is that bad?"" LOL ! Love it ! :) haha the way you described her house was great ! I could imagine all the lit candles and rose petals with the music playing softly in the background, but I never thought that River would be stripped down to his boxer briefs on her couch ! And it again reminded me of the conversation Charlie JUST had with River ! He is so sweet and I love the way he chose to comfort her, instead of saying sorry for making her remember what Adam did with the candles, River told her to make new memories instead, kinda implying to make them with him ! Aww ! Haha my lilypuff !
Honestly, I didn't really find Chapter 5 as amusing as the previous chapters, but I understand that this chapter was needed to show the beginning of their new 'relationship'. I hope you don't misunderstand, in no way was it boring, it just wasn't as funny as the ones before. But you made me smile when River said that he was going to help her make a 'new memory'. :)
When I read this in Chapter 6, you confirmed my suspicion. "I want you to be happy," he said. "And when I saw you in the coffee shop, staring at Adam like he'd just crushed all the happiness right out of you, I couldn't stand it, okay?" - oh honey he likes you ! Especially when she remembered him serial dating, "...almost like he was looking for something that he could never find. "
"You're not everyone else" - awwww !
I love Charlie's dad ! He's so blunt and to the point ! No going around corners ! "Enough," my father Tim interrupted gruffly. River only smiled at him. "Did you knock my Charlotte up or not?" If my dad said this to my boyfriend, I would have died with embarrassment ! But seeing it here in this story, made me laugh ! :) And he sounds like a child when he said, "What?" my dad grumbled, "You all want to know. There's no point in dancing around it."
Oh River you cute thing ! :) "I'm not Harry!" he shouted after her. "I'm Draco Malfoy." haha I love the frequent references to Harry Potter in Chapter 7 ! "Come home with me?" :O ooooh are they going to do what they think they're gonna do ? Haha ! Nice ending for the chapter !
| Annie not Annabel chapter 1 . 11/5/2011
Hola! I'm Annie, the judge for the Girl and Best Friend category on A Drop of Romeo, a site that reviews the best love stories on Fictionpress. Over You has been accepted and the review has been written :) Here it is:
Honestly, when I first received this suggestion, I kind of held off on reading it, for a couple of reasons. One, because I tend to shy away from non-high school or college-centered stories, and two, because the plot was so ridiculously overdone and the whole fake-dating thing is hard to pull off. But the author, verita, writes it perfectly. It's a bit different from other stories like this, since the line between "pretend" and "real" is blurred from the start. There were many stomach-flipping moments combined with those lines that make you go, "Oh, snap!" The main character, Charlie, is one of the only not-annoying characters I've seen in a while. She's relatable too, and has a backbone. And River-oh my gosh, River-is, like, the real-life Prince Charming. He's somehow both unbearably sexy and adorable at the same time, and I love how his devotion to Charlie is subtle and not obvious to everyone else but her, like it so often is the case (which is not realistic at all, B-T-Dubs). There were very few major characters in the story, but it never got boring. Although the beginning seemed a bit unnatural with Charlie pouring out her feelings first thing, and sometimes the dialogue was a bit unrealistic, I'd recommend this story to any love-lovers. The chapters were the perfect length-short enough to keep your attention, but long enough to quench your curiosity. Plus you'll be going "Why can't this happen to me?" several times over, I guarantee.
| foxyricanlady chapter 14 . 9/9/2011
i just came accross this story and i loved it... but i see you havent posted anything in a long time i hope that change soon because i really enjoyed your style in writting
| non.graceful chapter 14 . 7/13/2011
I loved this from chapter three to the very end :)
Personally, the relationship should have been more... Longer? You could have brought more things into the story by having more chapters...
Overal it was great... Chapter two and one were let downs... It wasn't until Rier entered that it did get more interesting ;)
| Candescence chapter 14 . 6/21/2011
Ooo...I love how you incorporated the lyrics of the songs into the chapter titles. Very simple, yet creative. This story was very cute. Cliche and all. Good job
| Lissya chapter 2 . 6/13/2011
Hey, good story so far but you may want to watch the passage where Charlie is speaking to Callie, because you substituted one name for the other at one point.
| Astarael-11 chapter 14 . 6/13/2011
Um oh my gosh, this was seriously one of the cutest stories ever. It really was very good. I loved your writing style and I could definitely see the different personalities of all the different characters (and also the hotness of certain characters ;))
I just really loved the whole concept and Adam was such a jerk. I can't believe he was playing two people (and I really hope that the guy who did this to you as well got his just desserts because it's never cool to do that). I'm glad Charlie found the right guy in the end and that Callie wasn't too put out by it.
I loved Charlie's mum, she seemed so cool. Hehehe, I love it when the parents in stories know that the main characters should've ended up together from the very beginning.
Anyway, I know you wrote this a while back but I hope you've found someone nicer than 'Adam' and that you have indeed found your 'River' because, let's be honest, he's one attractive man (even though he's a fictional character but when did that stop a crush?)
| Violet-Madness chapter 14 . 4/27/2011
I'll start off by saying just how awesome this story is. Basically, super awesome. I loved the characters, *Loved* River, and loved how none of this story seemed contrite or stupid or fluffy or silly. Callie's like an actual person, not a cardboard cutout of a friend you find in most novels (agh, the 2-D BFF!) and all of your characters are perfectly fleshed out. You took a best-friend's-brother story and turned it into something magnificent. Kudos;D
| SunsetRainbow chapter 1 . 3/13/2011
this story is amazing.
I don't normally post reviews but I am this time.
Random breakup story:my boyfriend dumped me because he thought it wasn't working although he still loved me...
anyway. He got over me after FOUR DAYS.
We didn't speak for nearly a week after that.
And I started to see him more of a best friend. And my feeling faded. However, on friday - we went clubbing got pissed, and I kissed him once.
So feelings kinda returned for him. Eek. I'm a mess. And so I love stories like this
| FictionPressWorm chapter 14 . 3/3/2011
I fell head over heals in love with your story! I mean it! It is truly amazing! Not just the plot, but the writing itself!
I really liked how you made everything seem so realistic. Even though I may have hated Charlies a time or two, I still loved the way you drew her character. I'm in love with all of your characters actually (except for Adam and Jeff).
I also liked how you described Charlie's and Callie's friendship and how you didn't make Callie as only a best friend. What I mean to say is that you gave her her own life. IN many books, fictions and movies the best friend is always the supporting one, but never has a life of her own. The whole story usually revolves around the main character, which doesn't happen in real life. You changed it and made it more realistic. I loved it.
I also really liked the way you described Charlie's feelings. They were so raw. It seemed to me that I almost felt what she felt by just reading it.
Oh, God. I don't have more words. I really loved your story and I'm set on reading your other stories as soon as I can. Hope you continue writing, because you have a talent and with your writing I'm sure you bring joy to people like me (fiction press addicts).
So yeah, keep writing and GOOD LUCK!
| Barbie826 chapter 14 . 2/18/2011
Pretty predictable and cheesy.
But I liked the idea somewhat. The story just felt short to me though. Like some things happened really fast and I would have rather seem them develop more.