Reviews for User 517622
Hyphonated chapter 1 . 3/16/2008
I'll admit depression is becoming a cliche, but most people write as a way to explain or escape from their fears and angst.

It doesn't matter whether we're young, old, male, female or what race we are. We all feel the negative emotions, we all get bored, we all need vices. People rarely write when their lives are good, we're usually too busy living them. The typical romantic cliche is just wishful thinking, and there is nothing wrong with that. The typical teenage cry of "my parents don't understand me" is just a part of growing up and sometimes it's fitting, it's real.

These alias's we use are there so we can write with no hold backs, for once we are who we are, we can say the things we could never speak. Most of us will never get published but we'll deal, right now we just need a voice.

-
Femaleking chapter 1 . 11/4/2007
I love the concept here - I've seen too many badly written emo poems, for lack of a better description. This is also very well written, I love your word choices. I'm not so sure about the phrase 'stab-knife' in verse three, though. It doesn't really make a lot of sense to me. Maybe if you changed it to 'knife stab' or 'knife wound' etc. it might sound more right.

I especially liked this line: 'Say one word against the mass and you're a fire. Are you a fire-fighter?' Lovely word play.
softer side of apples chapter 1 . 10/21/2007
READING THIS POEM TRANSFORMED MY THOUGHTS. THIS IS A VERY WELL WRITTEN POEM.
Garrett Lee Bourdon chapter 1 . 10/17/2007
Brilliant piece. The flow is excellent and every sentence is conveyed extremely well. Thank you for writing such an eye opener.
burning in effigy chapter 1 . 10/10/2007
love your poems. especially when they go against the norm.

i want to quote so many things.. but then it'll be too long

"And why, I wonder, I ask?/Children’s words as they fight for a moment’s glory."- one of my favorite two lines; really makes me think about if some people do deserve to be published

overall, the third stanza was my favorite. harsh/blunt but very nicely put

and the fourth stanza- when it addresses flaming, i totally agree that just because someone doesn't agree with you, it does not give you the right to blow up in their face. shows how mature you are; get over it and move on and take what they have told you into consideration. it's not like they're attacking *you* personally. it's just your writing :]

excellent job!

(never stop writing 'kay? okay)
Guest chapter 1 . 10/7/2007
i miss you
queenB mackenzie chapter 1 . 10/4/2007
- Selfish, Tainted -

I really don't know how I got to your poem ... but I'm glad that it found me. I like how you ridicule the cliches because it's all too true (yet somehow at one point or another, we can't escape cliches even though we can try).

My favorite line was: "Say one word against the mass and you're a fire. Are you a fire-fighter?" I had reviewed a author over at and GAVE my honest review and then because she didn't like it, she cursed me out and called me names.

I do find that most of the stories are about the same thing, and even the one that I'm writing runs in the same circle kind of - even though I'm trying to make it as original as possible. :/ But this poem was ... I can't describe it, and that's in a good way. I would be honored to put it on my faves. :D Your poetry kicks mines ass anyday D: ... :D

- Tainted Selfish - User 524511
half-sketched.staccatos chapter 1 . 10/3/2007
konnichi wa

Ah, this was amazing and oh-so true. I can't even tell you all my favorite lines since there were so many, but that would be a sucky review if I ever saw one; so I'll try:

"And so what if we know how to describe the pain to perfection?"

I like how it was so... I don't know, flippant, I guess. Nonchalant. I mean how, "Yeah, I know pain - so?" It's heartbreaking.

"Phrases like “tear-stained face” and “drawings on my wrists” / Go from shocking to clichéd." - How true, unfortunately. The first time I read "drawings on my wrists," it gave me the chills. Now: Been there, done that; don't you have anything NEW to give me?

"The same nine phrases on repeat and compliments flock to us / Poor typing, incorrect grammar / Say one word against the mass and you’re a fire. Are you a fire-fighter?" - I especially like those last words: Are you a fire-fighter. To me they meant, "Are you going to fight against conformity." I don't know how you meant them, but that's how they seemed to me.

"And suddenly it’s two A.M. and someone’s reading / The fiftieth identical piece of the day." - Oh God, yeah. It's so painfully dull to have to read the same plot over and over and over and over. I mean how many original pieces can you write about jocks, cheerleaders, unrequiterd love. Give me a BREAK! I'm endeavoring to write a story with absolutely NO love, and I'm trying to make it as unclichéd as possible.

"Ask user 517622 / I’m sure they’ll tell you" - I liked this line a LOT. I don't know if this is how you meant it to be, but -again- this is how I understood it: THEY meaning that everyone's basically a 517622; everyone's all the same.

I have to tell you, that title really drew me in (is that YOUR user number?). From the title alone I could guess exactly what this poem would be about, and I was right - and it was a trule amazing poem. *adds to favs*

Zaijen

-Shan-
Jeannie-Redd chapter 1 . 10/3/2007
I simply love it. It's an excellent poem even though it doesn't rhyme. I also like how you mocked the cliche's. Brilliant, simply brilliant.

Jeannie-Redd
thecolourgrey chapter 1 . 10/3/2007
I like the thought conveyed in the poem, although i didnt like the structure. If you read the piece out loud, some parts just doesnt sound right. its not just because the lines dont rhyme though. 'Who reads empty, soulless words scribbled on crumpled paper?' I like this particular line a lot. thought-provoking. a nice piece.
EternallyImperfect chapter 1 . 10/3/2007
This is really impressive. You've mocked all the cliches and this, although it doesn't ryhme, is really original. Certainly one of the best on this site.
The Somnambulist chapter 1 . 10/3/2007
I really liked this. Kudos, it's very well written.