|Reviews for Binoculars|
| Ladybugg13 chapter 1 . 10/6/2007
she was hopeless, in truth. she could only dance when no one was watching.
I really like that line. I can really relate in both the literal and metaphorical sense. you write great stuff!
| life on rewind chapter 1 . 10/3/2007
This somehow reminds me of that quote by Souza: "Dance when no one's watching you ..." It would have been funky if you'd have opened with it; sounds like it inspired you.
The only thing I could complain about is that maybe you could consider lengthening your sentences, by using semicolons for example. Short sentences make the story sound a bit choppy, while longer ones make it flow nicely. Don’t make them TOO long however - you’ll never find your way out of them, otherwise!
Thank you for posting this! Maybe you wouldn’t mind checking out a few of my writings too if you feel like it and liked the review? If you do, I recommend my rants. I hope the concrit helped!
[Yes, I copy/paste most of my reviews. So sue me. The concrit changes per review, and you get tips, right? Win/win situation. End of.]