Reviews for Beauty Sleeps
SnackySnackSnackSnackSnack chapter 1 . 10/22/2007
I love it. I don't think it sounds like typos. I think it conveys just the right feeling.
TylerB chapter 1 . 10/17/2007
I may sound like a broken record here. But I love your poetry. I mean it's just plain ecstasy reading these beautiful lush lines, even though this one is very melancholy. You've written up another winner here for sure.
DOORphrame chapter 1 . 10/7/2007
i loved this, but it seemed in crude form to me. i recognized the capitalization alternates through stanzas, but whatever you were going for (i'm guessing a contrast) didn't show; it really just seemed like you were inconsistent and lazy. my suggestion there would be to incorporate punctuation into the 'put together' stanzas; it'd also be good for flow there as well.

other than that, i adored this poem. it was beautiful, and i loved how it started out so loving and ended with such travesty. fantastic job overall.
All Alone With Her Thoughts chapter 1 . 10/7/2007
And you always complain about your inability to write - from now on I am not listening to you. You are amazing. There are way to many perfect lines in here. The ending was perfect. *add to my favourites*

jessie chapter 1 . 10/6/2007
The moment I spend reading your writing is one of the most beautiful moments of my day. You have become one of my favorite activities.
His Mercy's Waiting chapter 1 . 10/6/2007
Charming. I really liked the ending. You need to work a little bit on checking for typos before you submit, but it's not serious.

"She was the goddess in my bloodstream"
half-sketched.staccatos chapter 1 . 10/6/2007
konban wa

Such beautiful, forlorn imagery in this piece that I don't know where to begin with my favorite lines...

"Breathing storybook lies"

"It was like drinking the wind

Tasting autumn crumble-crinkle in my mouth"

"Someone said last kisses taste like summer

Melodies that stick in between the gaps of your teeth

Sunshine melting smiles always to be quenched"

"Body sprinkled in rainbow energy

Arrayed in a spectrum of obsession"

"I knew she was made for the stars"

Those are all my favorite lines (yes, there are quite a few), but if I had to narrow it down? I can't narrow it down to one but perhaps two:

"I knew she was made for the stars" and "Breathing storybook lies" - those two would be my favorites. But I loved all of them; this poem was filled with the most amazing imagery. I loved it!


no.peace.los.angeles chapter 1 . 10/6/2007
This is gorgeous. There are so many fantastic lines in this, I'm not even sure where to start. "She was the goddess in my bloodstream" was probably one of my favorites. Gorgeous. Keep writing! :)
Core Satiated chapter 1 . 10/6/2007
I knew that I wouldn't be disappointed! This literally broke my heart. My favorite line, "And a word only she could have created, Beautiful". A phrase like that is definitely something that exhibits true love.

This work is romantic and sexy on so many levels. I'm getting addicted to the "inspirational lift", both positive and negative, that I get from reading things on this site. I get that from just about all of your pieces. Thank you!
Tactless Cloud chapter 1 . 10/5/2007
wow! good job!
Stella Grimshaw chapter 1 . 10/5/2007
You never cease to amaze me. Your first stanza completely enchanted me. Good Work as always.
the Stranger in the moonlight chapter 1 . 10/5/2007
This was incredible. I loved the use of capatilization here, when all was good it was proper grammar, but when even love dies the grammar goes...

Beautiful job.

~the Stranger in the moonlight
fairytale failure chapter 1 . 10/5/2007
Loving the fairytale reference (because doesn't everyone?) I like the way you played autumn and summer into this, both of them as a way to describe something else. My favourite line was 'She was the goddes in my bloodstream', and the last few were heartbreaking.