|Reviews for Dose of Your Own|
| All Over You chapter 33 . 2/7/2010
Wonderful ending to the story. I swear Kelsey and Andrew had my heart hurting in pain with the intensity of their relationship. I think my eyes even watered a few times haha.
Amazing story, look forward to reading more of your stuff!
| krystinna20 chapter 33 . 2/7/2010
I really enjoyed this story, thank you so much for writing it
| HugsNotDrugs chapter 33 . 2/7/2010
Oh my! Please tell me, are you still thinking about doing that story of Drew and Kelsey when they where younger? It could be a one shot. Okay, I should stop. But this story was amazing! Definitely worth the wait!
| kdamu chapter 33 . 2/7/2010
I have to say that when I first saw your story, I wasn't too sure if I should continue it. That was in the first two chapters, kind of clunky and not as good. But I'm really, really glad I stayed with you, because your improvement was quite visible, and by the fourth chapter, I was hooked.
While this does need editing (as you did say in your author's note), it's a pretty damn good first draft. I can't even write three chapters without losing steam :D
So I just want to tell you that you're awesome, Andrew's awesome, and I want to know what happened to Mora.
I hope I get to read an edited version sometime,
| waitinforyou12 chapter 33 . 2/7/2010
Wow. I can honestly say that this is the best story I've read in a long time (and I've read a lot of stories.) I'm quite jealous of you impeccable talent to draw the reader in. I hope you continue your writing - I know I'll definitely keep an eye out for more from you. :)
| Vicky A chapter 27 . 2/7/2010
Wonderful twist on the story...
| iiHEARTyuu chapter 33 . 2/7/2010
Omg, I loved this :) I think I found this around the time you started it and it's had me hooked. It's different to a lot of the other highschool romances & dramas on fp. Sure they have the love-hate relationship going on, but Andrew & Kelsey's is so different. I love it!
I'm sad it's over since they've FINALLY gotten together (I was smiling the whole time I read it haha :D and thinking, I love you too Andrew haha. His methods of convincing Kelsey are amusing lol.) and since Kelsey didn't get to talk to Andrew. But, I think you did a great job with the story. There are some typos, but everyone has typos when they type. I'm pretty sure my brain works faster than my fingers do lol.
But yes, I was wondering if you're completely finished with these characters, or if you're going to do a sequel or spin-off or anything like that.
Anyway, awesome story :) I loved it!
| palmsaresweaty chapter 33 . 2/7/2010
god I missed this story so much. You really wrote an awesome plot. There were times even in this chapter that I wanted her to get together with Brian. But it was Andrew who steals the show. I most likely will read this story again once I finish my essay for english. It was THAT good..:P
| RobotBuiltSoFrail chapter 33 . 2/7/2010
ohh yay i'm so excited you updated!
the ending of the story was lovely. however, there are some loose ends i think might have to be tied. for example, i remember the subplot about andrew and his father, and his strangeness behind the whole trivia competitions, or just the whole relationship with his family in general. the mystery was never really unveiled and i was curious about that, even though i guess it has no real relevance. :) i was also curious to know if Cass was going to talk to Robbie or not, (I'm guessing not), but then I guess rather if Robbie's going to be okay! or if tara and brian go back to their usual ways, or if they're thrown off by the mark kelsey has left. oh, also, i was a little taken aback by the beginning of the latter half of the chapter - kelsey was in some kind of conversation with mora? im guessing we can assume they'll reconcile, and that cedric does have a possible interest in her.
these are just preferences, naturally, and it's up to you how open you want to leave the ending. i'm just ecstatic to know andrew and kelsey worked out fine, it was really adorable. :) thanks for sharing your lovely story with us.
| Hiding.the.Truth chapter 33 . 2/7/2010
YES it's finished. I liked the ending- it fits them well.
| checkyesdana chapter 33 . 2/7/2010
i've spent my week reading all of this and when i feel asleep last night I only had chapter 31 to read, such a good surprise to see it was finished overnight ) This is amazing. i love love it. it drove me insane, made me smile, made me mad, broke my heart and then smile again. you're a very good writer, this was very enjoyable to read
| Trish123 chapter 31 . 2/7/2010
ok nice story although sometimes her long introspective passages get tiring to read and make the story a tad bit boring... however, the story has a nice idea and i'd really like it if you'd update soon! :) And i'm kinda confused cause it says on your profile that the story is complete ( I think?) except it's not... please update soon! :)
| checkyesdana chapter 23 . 2/6/2010
im in the process of reading this whole story & usually i'd just comment once at the end but i had to here because i used to be so obsessed with that Butch Walker song when i first heard it
| sappyromancelvr chapter 31 . 2/4/2010
Hope she makes up with Andrew. God, I'd take him :)
Screw Brian, asses never change. haha
| JaseyxRae chapter 25 . 2/1/2010
To be honest, I've never read any other chapter but this one (chapter 25). It's for SKoW's Best Kiss award. And I decided I'd do a helpfull review and point out your grammatical and technical errors. I quit right BEFORE the 13th pargraph (describing her dress as olive green, that one) I had 21 long corrections!
I decided it would be too overwhelming to post, but you really need a beta.
It exhausted me writting those corrections, so I just skipped down till I found this kiss. Nice descriptions, well done! I did think it was nice.
But you NEED A BETA. I see that it says you tried to edit it and couldn't, ok, but you had a LOT of errors. I corrected almost every single sentence.
Here's the corrections but they're vastly incomplete:
"Much to my surprise, Chris Packard was nominated on the homecoming court as a contender for king and, as his date, I had to show up with him after the game to the festivities before the dance."
1-hot damn, that is quite the run-on sentence. Although it sounds kind of okay (although kind of jumbled and wordy at the end) it is technically not correct.
something more like: "Much to my surprise, Chris Packard was nominated on the homecoming court as a contender for king. After the game, as his date, I had to show up with him to the festivities before the dance."
Something like that. And definitely two sentences.
2-And definitely break up "after the game" and "festivies before the dance" that's confusing.
"across the football field, so our fellow students"
"Brian Feldman and Robert West had been"
change "had been" to "were"
"Tara Brown was nominated for queen, as everyone expected, along with Mali, who was what would be considered Tara’s runner up, so that wasn’t surprising either."
LONG SENTENCE. jumbled.
"As everyone expected, Tara Brown was nominated for queen along with Mali, who was considered Tara's runner-up." sounds better, stays one sentence like you wanted, and makes the "wasn't surprising" at then end redundant.
"But Sandy showing up as the third girl was what really shocked everyone. She was the only junior on the ballet."
1-okay the first sentence sounds overly casual. I can tell that, like most FP writers, you favor colloquial styled writing, which is fine. But that first sentence there ("was what really shocked everyone" in particular) was a bit TOO casual. You might want to tweak it.
2-This is the only chapter of your story I have ever read, and only because I'm reading SKoW nominees, but I really don't think you meant "ballet." It's possible that there is a ballet but from the sound of your paragraph I think you meant "ballot." Although I'm not positive. And no, I'm not try to be rude and sarcastic, I really don't know seeing this is the first paragraph of your writing I've ever laid eyes on.
"I guess Brian was right about one thing, if not more, Sandy was just as popular as always, cheerleader or not."
"if not more" chunks up the sentence. Try "... Brian was right about at least one thing, Sandy was ..."
"and the only person that I knew she went out with ever was Robert."
"she went out with ever" would sound better as "she ever went out with"
"... she was being put on the homecoming ballet?"
again I think you mean "ballot" but there COULD be a homecoming ballet (ballet dance, as in ballerinas, by the way), I suppose? I really think you mean ballot, though.
"... Brian had caused, and her life could go back ..."
"If she wasn’t putting her name out there by showing up for the parties or the football games or anything ..."
1-"or anything" sounds too casual and too conversational.
2-Try re-wording it, repeatedly using "or" isn't great either.
" '... after the babysitting duty that went wrong.' I told her, ..."
after dialogue there is a comma, not a period, when followed by a "he said, she said, I said" type of thing. The only exception is for question marks and exclamation points.
"... come hang out with us before first period. So far he hadn’t shown up."
you have two options.
1-Adding a semi-colon would change the writing up and be refreshing. As in: "... first hour; so far..."
2-That isn't necessary. But a comma after "So far" (whether you use a semi-colon or not) *is* necessary.
"'Urban, over at the outlets.' Jessica whistled ..."
Again, no period. comma.
"... when this school year started. For a farce that seemed more like a dream now than reality."
That should be one sentence.
“It was on sale,” I shrugged it off. It hadn’t been, but I had saved up a good bit of money off chores and allowance. Besides, my parents had paid me nicely for ‘watching’ the twins, even though I hadn’t, and I didn’t have anything else to do with my money. Why not buy a nice dress?
1-I shrugged it off isn't a way of answering verbally. Either put "I shrugged it off" before her dialogue or put "I shrugged" WITHOUT the "it off" and keep the same sentence structure.
2- "It hadn't been" should be "It wasn't"
3- get rid of the "and" and make "I didn't have anything else" into a new sentence. Combine the "why" to make it one sentence with "my money" using a semi-colon and it will flow a lot better.
That might have sounded confusing, basically it should look like this:
“It was on sale,” I shrugged. (OR: I shrugged it off. "It was on sale." ...) It wasn't, but I had saved up a good bit of money off chores and allowance. Besides, my parents had paid me nicely for ‘watching’ the twins, even though I hadn’t. I didn’t have anything else to do with my money; why not buy a nice dress?