I personally say forget Brian and focus on Andrew. Her family life especially with Cedric is getting better so why mess that all up or just get them involved with the revenge tactic cuz she seems to be having some issues fully going forth with it.

I love your story. Just one thing that's bugging me - on the first line of your french translation its 'belle' not 'beaux' because he's talking to her, so its a feminine adjective.

I'm so glad I stumbled onto your treasure trove of a story.

I don't think it's too long winded-the character development is worth it! Kelsey and Andrew grow amazingly more real with each chapter-even your secondary characters like Robert and Mora have multiple dimensions.

I'm addicted to this story, I swear it. Keep writing!

i'll be honest and say i'm a sap right from the start...i personally got bored of the brian thing...i much prefer andrew and kelsey's interactions:P

I'm glad the revenge plot is slightly abandoned. I really don't see Kelsey being able to handle that kind of game. She's like an amateur playing with the big kids. And frankly I don't really want her to try because a part of what makes her such a loveable character is her sweetness.

Just a suggestion, I think that if you decide to continue with her plotting, right when she is about to dosh it out - Cassandra should come in with whatever revenge she's preparing.

Also wondered how many chapters are left?

i definitely noticed a difference in this chapter since things started to proceed again. i really liked how kelsey recognized that she had been getting closer to brian without any real incentive and then made the decision to stop, because it needed to be addressed. and she handled the situation with andrew at the end very... maturely, and with alot of ease. i also really liked that sandy was painted as less than perfect, because for awhile it had started to seem like maybe sandy was actually a really great person, and i think that if you had continued to portray her as being so complex and misunderstood, it would have started to overshadow kelsey. maybe this is just a matter of my personal preference, but as a reader i really don't want sandy to be effortlessly intelligent and secretly perfect, because in the past she was not a nice person, and whether that was some guise or not, it couldn't have been all fabricated snottiness. it was good when you mentioned that she brings out the worst in people, exemplified through the behavior of robert who is usually so kind. just a reminder that she isn't some perfect, secretly intellectual martyr, but she actually does have a legitimate dark side. sandy actually has alot of depth (sad poetry, secret boyfriend), again, moreso than kelsey, but now i can see how coming from a first-person POV kelsey obviously isn't going to talk about herself all the time. also, i don't know, it was just a little disappointing how kelsey so effortlessly fell into the role of well-dressed social climber, particularly how she suddenly cares so much about her appearance. at the beginning of the story, she wore t shirts, no makeup, and old jeans, which gave her character a little spunky undertone and some depth, and i liked that. she was unique in the way that she was sort of apathetic to the things that alot of other people cared about. now that's sort of gone. i can understand that for the sake of the plan she needed to dress well to fit in, but it seems like now she would dress that way regardless of necessity. anyway, i have hope for her yet.. maybe she'll do something interesting that will exemplify some of this hidden appeal that andrew and others seem to see.

i actually like the way the story is going. It takes a while for the main plot to come and go. There are many sub-plots in a story and that is what makes a good story. If it only had to do with the main plot then what fun would it be?

I did have a feeling that you strayed from the "revenge" plot in this story, but I also knew that the relationship between Andrew and Kelsey would also be an very important part of this story. I've noticed that, before you pointed it out at the end, Brian is pretty much doing all the work developing the relationship between himself and Kelsey. I can kind of see where her hesitation and confusion comes from, cause I'd probably feel the same way in her position.

I'm feeling pretty good about the last few chapters being about Kelsey and Andrew though. I find it kind of annoying sometimes when some people just focus on one main thing, and keep referring to it over and over again, it just gets really tiring to just see it repeatedly, so I like the fact that you're focusing on the relationship too (and because I think they're friggin adorable).

So to sum up those few minutes of my life, I like the way you're doing things, so I think that you don't need to change anything about the way you write things, because it's what differentiates you from other authors. I personally believe that if you try to please the readers too much, there are times where you won't be pleased with it yourself, and it's really straining to keep on writing if it becomes like that. We wouldn't want that now, would we? ;)

I really liked this chapter. The kiss at the end was just amazing, like I've just been waiting for that moment FORREVER. I've come to really like this story, because I find the characters really interesting and realistic, so keep up the good work, and I look forward to your next update.

Phew, that was probably the longest review I have ever written in my life. And I'm pretty sure I've put some really rando and unnecessary stuff in there, ANDD I'm pretty sure some of my points don't even link together...but whatever, I already wrote it and you already read it so...]

-dmn.

super

Please update soon. Great chapter. Something doesn't feel right. Don't know, but I don't trust Andrew. Hope I'm wrong for Kelsey's sake. Andrew never really apologizes and didn't like the fact he laughed about Kelsey's reason for not wearing dresses. You explained very well the fact, they both participated in torturing each other; however, now that he "cares" he should be sorry. Sorry for rambling. Love Dillon!

Can't wait for the dance. You know this is my favorite story, right? Anyway, hope you update soon. Kelsey rules! Jool

Hi, I don't write much of a review,

so I just want to say this story is going great!

Keep up the good work!

Haha, I love her brothers, they're all really cute. And I understood like a good part of the French, but I dropped it in grade 10, haha. That was a cute chapter, I really enjoyed it.

I look forward to your next chapter.

Hey.

I love your story, it's so good!

I really wish Drew and Kelsey will get together soon, or just kiss again or something, the suspence is killing me!

Please PM me what Andrew was supose to be saying in french to Kelsey.I do learn French but my skills are a bit rubbish lol!

Please update SOON

EvErY rOsE hAs ItS tHoRnS

x

hello, will you be updating this anytime soon? cos i really can't wait!

I know that kelsey is supposed to be exacting some sort of 'revenge' here... but i don't see it happening. so far... she blackmailed her way onto the cheer team. this is a little confusing to me, seeing as the whole revenge plot thing is the meat of your story, the big action, the big action that isn't happening. in previous chapters you wrote kelsey, andrew and robert having some sort of alliance type thing, making this big 'plan'... but they really didn't make a plan at all? they choreographed some sort of useless paper exchange, an integration into the 'popular' crowd, the cheer team thing, and they talked a little bit about making brian like kelsey... but they never went anywhere with that. it seems like you randomly dropped the 'plan' mid-story. now it's almost turned into a normal highschool love triangle with the oblivious pretty misfit and the intelligent popular guy who falls for her. okay, obviously andrew likes kelsey, no mystery there. the fact that they were at some point going to get together was obvious from the first 3 chapters. i think it would be good for you to take a little break from developing that so much and go into something other than the cliche teen romance. and kelsey often comes off as immature and obnoxious when it comes to situations (especially romantic-ish situations), which is just unflattering, not endearing. also, i think it would be cool if kelsey had a little more... pizazz, i guess. andrew is this super smart, witty, somewhat tortured character (which 89 percent of FP stories have), but regardless of his predictability and redundancy, he actually is quite three-dimensional and multi faceted, at least compared to kelsey. kelsey is by no means vapid, but there just isn't anything really special about her that i can deduce. she's started a couple rumors in the past, she's in honors english, she... what else? okay, so she sometimes gets into 'witty' banter with a couple people, but... she either ends up a)crying b)losing the argument c)embarrassing herself. what i'm saying is, i wish she had something that made her stick out, and i wish she would kick some ass once in awhile, at least in an argument. it's a little strange when you write andrew, super interesting andrew, to be totally in love with plain kelsey. and i know some of your readers might like that, living vicariously and all, you know, the popular guy falls for the plain jane, but it just isn't realistic. i've read this straight through over the past two days, and you might not notice it because you've been writing it over a period of time and the chapters are so long, but it seems like you've deviated alot off of what appeared to be your original plot. at the beginning, there was alot of talk about some seemingly ominous 'revenge' plot, with several repeated "if, if, if"'s that gave the impression of some big, tragically regrettable outcome, but i haven't seen anything recently that would back that up. it seems like you start things and then just drop them, when it would be better if you kept the plot strings continuously running throughout each chapter, rather than abandoning and (sometimes) picking them back up again a few chapters later. it's like you forgot that there was supposed to be something else going on besides andrew-kelsey drama, and okay it wouldn't be that big of a deal to abandon a minor plot twist, but it's just that the revenge scheme thing was like the entire plot of the story, the main idea. or, at least, that's what it seems like based on the story summary. and you say that it's 72 percent finished, which is strange because it seems like there's way too much that still needs to happen in the 28 percent left. alright, anyway, i just wanted to leave you some somewhat (hopefully) helpful insight, or constructive criticism, coming from the reader POV, and maybe you'll agree with some of what i said. have a good one