Reviews for Red Eye
supagirl100 chapter 1 . 12/17/2008
Use more commas. And less boring names. And while you're at it, please don't describe the main character's mum like some sort of hot actress from HIS point of view. That's just creepy.

Otherwise, shows promise. But less cliches, please.
Core Satiated chapter 1 . 3/16/2008
What a douche. Mom crying over spilled milk because "we're going to resell the table." Just wash it.

Have you ever heard the expression, "you've got a great face for radio?"

Well, you've got a writing style for the radio.
katie girl x chapter 1 . 11/25/2007
yeah this just sucks.
Sakhmet chapter 1 . 10/18/2007
Uhh... sorry... this is... a bit... uh, rubbish.
Akiriana chapter 1 . 10/17/2007
well it wasn't too bad. Some punctuation errors and spelling errors, but all and all it was alright.

Keep in mind though, try not to just randomly insert big words to make your story sound more intellectual, especially when you use them improperly. Your story can have the same effect with words that are smaller or that you understand better.

It was an interesting piece however.
DarkAngel.0209 chapter 1 . 10/16/2007
WoW! Thios is really, really nice. Keep up the good work!
dinosaurgiraffe chapter 1 . 10/15/2007
Hiya. I see you've gotten a new name. Let's see. Well, I've read the first few sentences, found no depth, and decided to review. Now, reading the rest of the reviews, all I can find are either flamers or people who say your work sucks. I won't say that because honestly, your work does not suck. You just nedd to work on it. I feel like I'm reading a textbook. Add some humor or feeling because all I got from it was bland-tasting milk, and I HATE milk. You're not a bad writer because obviously you know how to write, but YOU SUCK when you tell others they suck. I doubt you even read the stories you review. I bet you just look at the stories, skim it, and decide that if you're not interested, they suck. You're such a fucking great soul.
Around.about chapter 1 . 10/14/2007
Well I must say can't actually find a point to this. What exactly was supposed to occur?

Besides the obvious lack of plot (or rather plot development I suppose), I suppose it was pure mediocrity. Try actually having something happen in this story.

It appears you managed to piss off quite a few of are fellow authors. While some have been a bit dramatic in their reviews, other have a had a ring of truth to them.

You really shouldn't flame people, I don't know where your superiority complex derived from, but really you have yet to show just cause for such a thing.
ajustwar chapter 1 . 10/14/2007
I don't think this story was that bad, yes I like (Or whatever) Needs to work on there writing some, but so do I lot of people who are writing these really mean reviews. Yes I know he/she may of done it to you first, but still come on people. Be Nice! AS for if you didn't write 'you suck!' On all the things you review, people will be nicer on your reweiws too.
GilanSalehi chapter 1 . 10/14/2007
To be fair, this isn't actually bad. It's just unremarkable. Don't feel bad-not everyone is an excellent writer. Mediocrity isn't a sin.
old unhappy far-away things chapter 1 . 10/13/2007
This story is a mockery of the art of writing. The plot is ridiculous and stupid. The characters are dimensionless and feel like cardboard. You're an awful, terrible writer, and you should take this off the Internet. There is quite enough shit online already that is not nearly as offensive to the English language as this piece of trash.
DBro chapter 1 . 10/13/2007
Why thank you for reviewing my story - which was much more well received than yours even though it has fewer reviews. I'm guessing that means that I'm a better writer than you, regardless of your suggestion that I suck and should quit writing.

Oh and I agree with the other reviewers. How about you study english literature. Pick up a book and see how writers develop their stories. It's much more helpful than bashing other people's works.

And fyi, this review is LOADED with sarcasm. Know what that is?

Have a GREAT day.
El Delfo chapter 1 . 10/13/2007
Hahaha Magius, same situation. I feel a little better about myself after this.
JaphyRider chapter 1 . 10/13/2007
Heh, so I get a comment saying I'm a losar that should quit writing, and I check out the guy what left it, and this is what he's done?
Whispering Fingertips chapter 1 . 10/13/2007
Oh my god that sucked! Learn how to write you loser
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