I don't get it. I know you were hinting that the lover was a corpse but why was he dead and was he really dead, or just seriously injured? Was the lover human? Why were they lovers? Did he initially seduce him or was it rape? There were just a lot of unanswered questions for me. I know this was meant to be a vignette and just hint at things but I think to make it a "fuller" read the reader needs more of the character's motives revealed. I do think the way it is written is very evocative and descriptive though so I wouldn't mess with that bit.