Reviews for Lips Burn Caustic
Sure Things Falling chapter 1 . 8/28/2009
I have to say that I REALLY loved the start of this story. I've made to start reading the whole thing a few times, but only just now got around to it. The start though... It stuck in my head and really made me want to read the rest.

I love the description and the characters - -good job there. Only thing I will point out is there is a bit of grammatical inconsistency, etc. All round though, great work!
Jess Bee chapter 28 . 8/20/2009
Triizore chapter 28 . 8/19/2009
I really don't have much to say.
Balliett chapter 28 . 8/19/2009
yeah, so, i totally saved up my praise for this review, hehe. what i really enjoyed about this chapter was how realistic it was and how lungbustingly hilarious it was (as per usual, of course) and also that tinge of, like, sadness of sorts. i mean, there's been a bit of that sad stuff sprinkled in the story, but i think that knowing it was their dad's death anniversary kind of gave it a gentle undertone of sadness despite the funny. or maybe death anniversary's just get to me. either way, this is a really awesome chapter. ;3

another thing i really liked was that you have so many quotable lines in this. i mean, like, so many fuckin' lines. and not just funny stuff either. there's quite a bit of pretty stuff that i could quote as well. so awesome job with that. anyway, now for the random comments, rambling portion of my review~! hopefully i won't end up quoting the whole chapter at you. xDD

“ 'Vito, drag the dolphin over. I’m gonna ride that Roxanne like fuckin’ Zeus.' ” hehe, i love pop culture refs. especially when i know them too, because sometimes i don't at all. fyi, that totally /was/ dirty. (;

“ 'Someone, get a magnifying glass,' Narcissa commands. 'We might be able to find it before it sinks to the bottom.' ” died laughing, man. it's still totally funny. i love narcissa.

"...Vito is probably going to masturbate to it later or something." rofl. oh, vito. he steals my heart, man. even though that thing about the noodles is kind of really nasty and disturbing and i am never going to do that with a noodle ever. ahh, well, i still love that boy. he's so awesome. all of your characters are. ty especially! i love the way he talks, man. i wish i was that cool. xD

coincidentally, i will be reading alice in wonderland sometime in the next few days. it's waiting on my bookshelf. also, i can't wait to see the tim burton version. it looks so shiny and awesome.

THE COTTON CANDY COUPLE! pink streak and matching blue streak - so cute, so cute. amber is totally not what i expected, but she's hysterical and, therefore, so cool. (:

“ 'The perfection of this makes me hard.' ” hurr, hurr. vito. always making me giggle like a doofus. i know i've probably mentioned this before, but i love how he can be so hilarious yet so, so wise in his own special, amusing way. it's totally shamazing. x3

BROMANCE FTW! that is the perfect way to describe their relationship! also, when i read that the first time, i was, like, lol scrubs. vito and rosco actually do kind of remind me of JD and Turk. it's pretty awesome. :3

okay, so here is where i think the undertone or whatever of sad gets more noticeable. probably because this is where everyone learns why he's obligated to be there with his family. like i said, i think death anniversaries just get to me. D:

lol, the lobster boy part is so funny. i can just imagine it going on in my mind and i have to snicker at rosco's feelings of inferiority and what not. and, also, bosco! he seems so adorable. i don't even know why. he just does.

everett is a bastard, man. that's pretty messed up and shitty of him. :\

i don't know if i explained why i liked the 'clicks' in the next scene. they accentuate the atmosphere and the tone of the words. you can envision it in your mind, you can hear the clicks. and the way you describe rosco waking up is just awesome. "The sun is diminishing; the shadows have altered." - i really like that line, especially. it's amazing.

since my transitions in rambling reviews seem to suck anyway, i'm just going to mention how well you avoid the whole clicheness of things in this chapter. first off, with mason's deal, you make everyone act realistically around him, concerned but not overwhelming him with consolation - you know? and the death anniversary as well - they don't avoid it but you don't drown the readers in excessive angstiness either. and then you totally bashed cliche in the face with the way rosco pretty much spoiled everett's dramatic coming out. so awesome job with that. :D

lol, i find rosco's passing out quite hilarious. it's ironic that he should hit his head on the very potted plant he said would bust someone's brain. xD

"Even though it’s my mother leaning over me on her knees, slender hands consoling my upper arm, her quavering anxiety in words, my newborn baby eyes instantly blur her shape. They shift and emphasize Everett, his right side emboldened by the porch light where bewitched gnats fizz." - the wording here is also really amazing. i especially like the last part with the gnats and the light. so easy to see in my mind's eyes.

and this! "Night has unfurled quickly, the entire expanse above littered with few stars, a traveling cloud, the horizon ending in nothing but the ultimate darkness, the kind that nothing should exist in." - so pretty and lovely. :3

another spot where you totally shooed cliche away. in most stories, when people end up going to the beach to think, they start pondering and/or being angsty or whatnot. but i think you got the real life version down better. you portrayed the "what now?" moment very, very well. :]

you gotta feel bad for rosco, man. his brother is a dick. i don't hate everett though. you can't hate someone if you don't know what they're thinking, right? i wonder what could possibly be going on in his head and what his reasons are for being such an ass.

brad pitt or johnny depp, you say? well, i gotta go with johnny depp, although brad pitt is pretty hot. ;)

"Demen will be invited over for dinner, him and the whole fucking family, and he and Everett will hold hands at the table and feed each other quiche and buy a Yellow Labrador and adopt a Guatemalan baby and name it Chastity Opal Rainstick or some fucked up shit and then have anal sex." ROFL. that made me laugh so hard. rosco's trains of thought are so amusing. xD

again, i'm wondering wtf's going on in everett's mind. why would anyone come out on the same day as their dad's deathversary? that's just ... shitty. :\


i like the ending. it ties in nicely with the running thing of him needing to throw up but being unable to, as i think i already mentioned at some point. and, omfg, how do i ramble this much? damn. ah, well. i blame your long chapters that are full of awesome. ;3

OH, OH, IS THE BIKE SCENE THE SCENE THAT TIES IN WITH THE OTHER STORY? or is it everett getting beaten up? personally, i think the bike thing would be a cool thing to connect two stories with. lol, as if you couldn't tell from my caps locked enthusiasm.

demen actually looks pretty cool with his rainbowlicious hair. he's still a creeper though. xD

OH MY GOD YOU LUCKY DUCKY. I WANT A GAY TOUR OF SAN FRAN TOO. but, besides that, i hope you enjoy your trip even though it's, like, three months from now.

deadaccount38289 chapter 27 . 5/9/2009
WHAT. THE. HELL. FICTIONPRESS. FINALLY it's letting me review. I kept getting this "Access to this resource on the server is denied!" bullshit whenever I went to certain pages. D: BUT OKAY. It's working now. But yeah, I read like the day you published it but fictionpress wasn't working for me. So I'm reading through it again to remind myself of all the things I wanted to comment on. xD

Daw, Everett. What happened to my poor baby bo? D: He's turned into... stonerhobo. Icky! And that bit where he told them about Mason was sad. And remarkably cold, even for them. D: While I was reading it I was just like DAMMIT, CARE MORE. NOW. Bah. It upset me. Dx And... peeing in the yard! Gross! Ahh, boys.

(But my love for Everett is still unshaken. No worries. :P)

SDjffdkskf Demen just gets creepier and creepier! He freaks me out so much.

"ARE YOU EVEN WEARING UNDERWEAR?" made me laughh. xD And it also randomly brought to mind this time when one of my guy friends said that he FORGOT to put on boxers that morning. And my female friends and I were all "WTF, how could you forget!" but he insisted that it was normal. So we asked a couple of guys and most of them agreed that it had happened to them before. Like... WHAT? HOW CAN YOU FORGET THAT? D:

"Slumbering like a dumpster baby" is my new favorite simile, ahahaha. How excellent. And I love how Vito is so entirely unconcerned about Rosco screaming and all. xD

And Mason fighting back against me dead makes me so happy. GO MASON. GO. BE TOUGHH.

And umm. I can't think of anything else to say except CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER! And hopefully fictionpress will not hate me next time. xD
phosphorite chapter 25 . 5/6/2009
Have you read the book Demian, by Herman Hesse?

Random question I know, but.. I dunno, I just felt like I was catching shadows of it in this chapter. totally fucked up and cynicalised shadows of course, but that's what I love about your story.

Which is awesome, probably the best I've ever read of fictionpress.
Jess chapter 27 . 5/6/2009
His reactions are always always priceless. CarbohydraTES! Loved that bit, made me laugh so hard.
Balliett chapter 27 . 4/30/2009

lazy eye is a good song. i don't really listen to silversun pickups, but i liked that song a lot. :3

" 'Ew! Vito, what the fuck? Your dick is out and you so want to butt fuck me, sicko! Ew!' " - LOLOLOL. again, this made me crack up hysterically. your sense of humor is amazingly hilarious. xD

" 'Except you can’t crumple Mason up and throw him in the trash. He has no delete button, no eject button, nothing. This isn’t some fucking film.' ” - i really like this line. it's a good way of saying, 'you gotta face fucking reality, betch.' except, it sounds a heck of a lot wiser when put in those words. vito's weatlh of wisdom is endless (which is techinically your wealth of wisdom, since you pump stuff into his brains), and it's just sheer awesome.

i think a lot of the characters in your story have shields. mason uses his silly act and his half-witted act to protect himself just like everett uses his i-need-to-be-cool-in-front-of-demen-bastard front and who-gives-a-shit front to protect himself. it seems like roscoe has no shields since he's the narrator and you really get a good look into his thoughts, but i think his denial at some points is his shield. DENIAL AIN'T JUST A RIVER IN EGYPT, BABY. lol. and, demen, why he's hiding a lot of things. vito shields knowledge from people, well, roscoe anyway. i think it's to protect a little bit of him and a little bit of the people surrounding him. it's just something i thought i noticed. hopefully i'm not wrong. xD

IMOGEN HEAP. YAY. lol, such an unfitting song for such a silly moment that it makes it AWESOME. hehe. the moment was still rather random, but that's kind of how vito and roscoe's friendship works so, yeah. :3

"Harsh and unforgiving vibrations quiver through my bone marrow." - ooh. i like the way you revised that! that's excellent, i must say. (:

everett and demen are /idiots/. majorly. srsly. not only are they smoking weed but they're smoking it in a WINDOW? they're such pretentious little bastards. i also dislike the habit of smoking immensely irl. smoking is for asshats, even if i do incorporate it into my writing sometimes. i think that makes me a bit of a hypocrite, but whatever.

okay, the way demem mentions the clique of mothers is SO. CREEPY. as if he was the one who organized it. br. i could see him trying to attain total world domination. i really could.

i'm wondering what everyone's reactions to everett and demen's reactions will be. they'll probably call them bastards. but there's deeper issues hiding there, fer sure. everett and demen are prolly a little bit misunderstood and, you know, it just makes me wonder about them more. they're so mysterious. hehe, i actually really like characters like that to be honest. it adds depth to them, even if not everyone notices, like roscoe for example who will not accept the fact that his brother and demen are still human on the inside.

demen is totally playing everett. THAT BOY IS SO BLIND, DAMNIT. i don't really get what's so appealing about demen that he would act like an asshole like that. okay, well, no, i lied. demen is very intriguing. so, i guess, on some level i get that. it'll be very, very, very interesting to see how this all plays out.


/rofl-ing & disgust

" 'You, Rosco, you are very sad. But that’s okay. I’m sad too.' " - if i could frame that moment i would. those words kind of just wooshed over roscoe's head. roscoe's not really the type to walk a mile in someone else's shoes. he's a stubborn butt like that, but i love him anyway. :D


my friends are going to a death cab concert tomorrow. and i can't go because it's my little sister's birthday and stuff. IT SUCKS. ;;

whoo~! MASON HIT HIS DAD. that's actually, erk, bad. domestic violence is bad. but, still, CHEERS FOR MACE. because he's awesome and cuddly and i love him. :3

dude. creper. i can totally see demen melting out of the shadows of some dark alley. lol. i do wonder what he wanted to talk to roscoe about. but it would be so out of character for roscoe to let him in, especially through the window. xD

" 'ARE YOU EVEN WEARING UNDERWEAR?' " - lololol. me and my friends were having a random conversation about skinny jeans and boxers for some reason. i don't even remember what was said, but, yeah. that's hilarious.

it's funny how demen's so obvious about the fact that he's just using everett and the latter continues being stupidly oblivious. he needs to be hit over the head with a wok. :P

ooh. i'm all bouncy and excited for the next chapter, man. psht, sunshine is lame. i think you mean FUNSHINE. YEAH. WHOO. FUNSHINE! yeah, i'm a little hyper today for reasons unknown. i liked rereading this chapter. you did awesome revising all the little details that i nit-picked about. it's awesome knowing i helped a little for this chapter. i dunno. it gives me a good, sparkly feeling on the inside. I FEEL SHINY. and, heehee, i got a little honorable mention. thank you for your sweet words. heehee. AWW, SHUCKS. YOU'RE MAKING ME BLUSH - /

-huggle- you're AWEMAZING, love. rock on. and holyshit. this is a long review. xD
Triizore chapter 27 . 4/30/2009
Wonderful. It makes so much more sense now. Everett is a f-cking creep, so is Demen, but to a lesser degree.

gleee chapter 27 . 4/30/2009
had a feeling there'd be an update for me today...mind you i've had this feeling everyday for a few weeks now...wishful thinking i guess

this chapter had a different tone to it, the way roscoe was talking in -well i have no idea where, but it just sounded different. hehee. maybe its because you had someone edit it .


random off topic question but not really: will we ever see roscoes backyard? just realised there is no mention of his yard...does he have one? is there a pool? trampoline? hammock? hm?...

fraking wonderful that mason got angry and expressed himself in a violent way. take that fat kitten drowner man!

i fell slightly bad? is that the word? for demen. roscoe over-reacted major to him being outside his window you know? maybe he didnt use the door because he needed fresh air. seems more 'human' towords the end. demen that is, 'He frowns in my direction. “Forget it.” disgruntled shred of emotion there.

must say i laughed alot at the "I’ll fucking avenge you,” line. like he was chaneling star wars, fast and the furious and romeo and juliet the modernised version.

-grumbles about people being able to drive without adult supervision-

hey what are 'cosmic brownies'? i get that they're brownies, but cosmic? did chewbacca make them. baha, chewbacca in an apron. i laugh. man whats with the star wars references, i haven't watched that in ages...
Liz Bee chapter 26 . 4/1/2009
Yay? Well, yay because you updated, except Mason's situation is not-yay. Oh, and I thought Demen had done it, but only because he's a total psycho. When I think about it, it would be a bit nonsensical for him to have done it without a clear motive.

The "cliche tragedy" thing doesn't bother me because you don't make it a farce unlike a lot of people here. You make it as sincere as fiction gets, and Rosco not knowing how to deal with it all adds to it.

So, yeah. Cool. Keep writing please?
Cereal Strawz chapter 26 . 3/27/2009
So I was looking at my story alerts today, and I felt like something was missing. And that's when I realized it: Lips Burn Caustic was not on the list.

It was a moment of horror as well as happiness. For it was then that I knew that you might have updated. And you HAD! I was overjoyed. Really...I squeeled with glee.

I just love Ty. I truly do. I think he's one of the best characters I've ever read about.

I can't say I didn't expect that Mason was abused by his dad. Because I did suspect it. I was practically yelling at my computer screen when Rosco couldn't figure it out.

And finally,... I will never look at Adam Lambert in the same way as I did before.
deadaccount38289 chapter 26 . 3/25/2009


I didn't see that coming at all. Awwe, poor baby...

It is kind of cliche, but I think you pulled it off very well. Most stories on fictionpress that involve abuse just seem... so fake, and just thrown in for angst affect. But I think with Mason it just deepens his character.

And POOR MASON, I have to say it again. ;_; The cat is just so freaking sad. I was tearing up at the part where he spoke at the little funeral. Ah I just went back to read it again and my eyes are watering again.

Your writing is so awesome, both with the humorous parts and the emotionally powerful ones. Jealous.

And this chapter made me like Narcissa a lot! I mean, not that I disliked her before now or anything, but this one just made me really fond of her. She's sweet... in her own weird way.

Ty's comments made the whole thing seem oddly surreal at parts. Ahh, Ty and his short shorts. Picturing that was just wonderful. xD

I LOVE ADAM LAMBERT. YAY! YAY! He is beautiful and has such a pretty voice, oh mah gah. Heh, now I'll definitely be thinking about Everett every time I see him. xD

Can't wait for more! I'm wondering how my baby boo Everett will react. o_o
WeAreAllSoTragic chapter 26 . 3/23/2009
Bah. I had that song stuck in my head for the entire time it took to read the first half. D8 -cough- I've recently rediscovered my love for the Arctic Monkeys. Sue me.

Dude. I was totally missing Ty and Cisca. It feels like forever since they've been in a chapter and actually had some meaningful dialogue. And I won't bitch about Mason's stereotype because it provides darkness to the story. And dare I say deepness? Oh, and the length of this chapter.. Pretty fucking long! I can't believe it was meant to twice as long. Might a suggest a better reader for those silly spelling mistakes and such? Sometimes I need to think a little harder to figure out what the missing word(s) are. Overall, loved the chapter. I can't wait for part two. ; D

Now you've driven me into curiosity of this Adam Lambert and I must watch American Idol, now. And I was trying to cut back on reality TV. Oh, well.

Loyal fan,

forever isnt that long chapter 26 . 3/22/2009



Poor kitty. ;_;

And poor Mason. D:

I would steal Mason and wrap him in bubble wrap.

..And like hug him for a while. :3
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