|Reviews for Star Strike: 2008 There's a galaxy out there|
| Atari Tariyama chapter 1 . 11/10/2007
Reading the first chapter, I feel that it is highly under-explained.
Father and mother mind- neither make sense to me.
You mentioned a ship, but jumped around a bit and I lost WHERE, exactly, we were.
I had no feel of atmosphere, really and found it boring on account that it didn't make much sense- what was going on, I mean.
It's hard to explain, really. I guess you'd need someone better at it than me, I just know it seemed. . . like there were a lot of careless mistakes in the writing, perhaps you rushed?
You gave little- if any description of the surroundings and. . . like I said, no atmosphere.
If you intend to take my advice at all, I can't tell you that it would look good if you simply ADDED IN the fixes, you may have to take out entire paragraphs, rewrite many sentences and stuff like that.
You have three chapters- so if you do feel you need to rewrite, do it BEFORE you write more.
Because, I had a story over ninety pages long, about eleven chapters, and that was when I realized it needed a good overhaul. Talk about a CRUSHING BLOW to me.
I'd apologize for the strict criticism, but since you've already gotten four praising posts, I figure a little bit of construction would do you some good! _
Take it easy and, once again, keep writing.
| Colton M. H chapter 3 . 11/9/2007
Great job. I liked it. Photon Angel's interesting.
| Z-Man chapter 1 . 10/22/2007
Interesting and good read, but the initials USS mean US steamship. I somehow doubt that spaceship is running on steam...
| Colton M. H chapter 2 . 10/21/2007
Great chapter! I liked it, and the information on the stuff there was great. It was good.
Hey, when the first Star Strike finally becomes published, will you tell me?
| Colton M. H chapter 1 . 10/18/2007
Great story so far! I like it. It's good.