Reviews for Watermelon Stained Memories
Little girl Big world chapter 1 . 10/25/2009
The title intrigued me.

The piece was so simple and sweet.

Favorite :)
TragicDreams chapter 1 . 8/2/2008
Aw this is cute. This kind of reminds me when we had our watermelon seed spitting contests, and Creation. I don't know why. Anyway I like the wording and the fact that it's short and sweet.
a silenced revolution chapter 1 . 1/6/2008
Really beautiful, and I think the last line makes a perfect ending, kind of bittersweet. Lovely tanka.
Definition chapter 1 . 1/3/2008
This poem is saturated with a distant happiness - for some weird unknown reason, it makes me all fuzzy inside. It also brings back a lot of memories :) You've really captured the concept quite beautifully.


Thanks for the review :)
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 12/15/2007
I like this a lot.. the alliteration is awesome and I love the word sunshiny... i like laughter lingers been the gift of laughter, but I might make it their laughter... in my mind that fits better with the first line, but that might just be me
Blissfully Sarcastic chapter 1 . 12/8/2007
Awh. It's cute.

I like the last line, seems like something that should be put on a pillow and gifted as a present.

Don't get how it's a haiku though...

But it's adorable nonetheless.
Healing.x.Rain chapter 1 . 12/7/2007

This reminds me of when I was about 7 yrs. old, I was at one of my cousin's houses, and we were eating watermelon.

Anyway, loved it! :D
Methuselah Renard chapter 1 . 11/25/2007
I don't get it, are the first three lines the haiku and the last two an added couplet? A haiku can't have five lines.

The poem itself is decent. I would so remember the memory once the picture's faded if I ever managed to get a butterfly on my fingertip.
S. Ben Beach chapter 1 . 11/22/2007
sunshiny! this piece is shiny!


keep up the good work )
His Mercy's Waiting chapter 1 . 11/7/2007
Cute. But I'm not too sure about the "sunshiny" part. By all means, it's a cool word, but I think "sunny" works better. Unless the first part is meant to be a haiku.

Well, it doesn't matter. You as the writer can choose your words. :)

Keep writing!
Random-Idiocity chapter 1 . 11/7/2007
Awesome job. ''And watermelon stained lips...Butterflies on fingertips.'' That was my favorite part.
continuous brevity chapter 1 . 11/4/2007
wow, i really like this. i love the word choice! nice work!
Twilight Starr chapter 1 . 11/3/2007
Cute poem. I like the title. Good luck with poetry and life. Have an excellent day.

~Twilight Starr~
smile for the sunshine chapter 1 . 11/2/2007
Aw, that's cute. )
greying blossoms Sakura chapter 1 . 10/31/2007
Loved this! I love the imagery of watermelon stained lips and butterflies on fingertips. However, the imagery of "the gift of laughter" is a bit cliched, isn't it?

Great job! I also wrote a tanka too, if you'd feel like checking it out ]

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