Reviews for Perfect
AuraBorealis chapter 1 . 11/3/2007
how sad. that is really emotional and made me want to cry. nice work and i hope that this isn't true. hope the gril is okay
Laura Schiller chapter 1 . 10/19/2007
A bit too melodramatic - I think you could call it "emo". It doesn't sound like you actually know these emotions, just think it would be cool to write about them. I could be wrong, but this is just an opinion.

The concept at the end of "perfect in their weakness" is good though, it sounds true.
Rusty And The Rubix Horse chapter 1 . 10/19/2007
The mud puddles called her eyes mocked her


And condemned her heart

She only followed through with what it saw…

I particularly liked these lines for some reason. Seemed less cliche than what some words poets might have used in their place. Poem overall was decent, but the rhythm was off-the first couple of stanzas seemed to have one, even without rhymes or anything of the sort, but after that it sort of fell appart. No matter though; you've done a nice job, and I rather enjoyed this piece.
half-sketched.staccatos chapter 1 . 10/19/2007
konnichi wa

Truly lovely and haunting and all that jazz (sorry, I'm not in a poetic mood, so I can't make it sound... well, like a normal review :P). There were a few corrections I would make, though:

"It was her that broke her own flesh" is grammatically incorrect. It should be, "It was she who broke her own flesh."

"but's scent still lingers to remind her" - "but's" is not a word. You'd have to write, "but whose scent..." or change the line completely.

Last small error: "the mistake she made awhile ago" - It should be "a while" as two separate words.