|Reviews for Perfect|
| AuraBorealis chapter 1 . 11/3/2007
how sad. that is really emotional and made me want to cry. nice work and i hope that this isn't true. hope the gril is okay
| Laura Schiller chapter 1 . 10/19/2007
A bit too melodramatic - I think you could call it "emo". It doesn't sound like you actually know these emotions, just think it would be cool to write about them. I could be wrong, but this is just an opinion.
The concept at the end of "perfect in their weakness" is good though, it sounds true.
| Rusty And The Rubix Horse chapter 1 . 10/19/2007
The mud puddles called her eyes mocked her
And condemned her heart
She only followed through with what it saw…
I particularly liked these lines for some reason. Seemed less cliche than what some words poets might have used in their place. Poem overall was decent, but the rhythm was off-the first couple of stanzas seemed to have one, even without rhymes or anything of the sort, but after that it sort of fell appart. No matter though; you've done a nice job, and I rather enjoyed this piece.
| half-sketched.staccatos chapter 1 . 10/19/2007
Truly lovely and haunting and all that jazz (sorry, I'm not in a poetic mood, so I can't make it sound... well, like a normal review :P). There were a few corrections I would make, though:
"It was her that broke her own flesh" is grammatically incorrect. It should be, "It was she who broke her own flesh."
"but's scent still lingers to remind her" - "but's" is not a word. You'd have to write, "but whose scent..." or change the line completely.
Last small error: "the mistake she made awhile ago" - It should be "a while" as two separate words.