|Reviews for Freedom|
| Matthew James Current chapter 1 . 1/20/2008
Hm. This is an interesting poem. It's a little close to being a poem based on an overdone subject matter though. I believe that if you removed the bit about you slitting your wrists and just started the poem from the line "I see the broken shards and frayed stitches of my heart bleed out of me in rivers of crimson" It would have much more of a punch and still say what you want it to say.
Basically, my criticism regarding this piece is that you are ready to step up your poetry and start using direct, unexplained metaphors. You have talent and can use very vivid diction, but you need to tie those raw talents together when you write using more advanced literary devices throughout your work.
It's good, now make it great!
| I Found Myself At 24 chapter 1 . 11/25/2007
My darling, I don't really know what to say. It's always difficult reviewing pieces like this because it's like reviewing the person who wrote it. I love you, and that's all I can say. *hugs*