Reviews for Broken Legacies
x-princessa-temnoti-x chapter 1 . 1/29/2008
i like your work...it has more...meaning to it than most of what i write. sorry, i'd comment...but usually stuff like this just leave me...musing? pensive. it's very good.
Ryan Schiff chapter 1 . 11/7/2007
Interesting story, overall a good poem.

Formatted well, occasional rhyming.

The best part is by far the four lines in the middle which seperate the first half, which is more or less emotional in nature from the second half, which is more narative.

The only change I would make would be to remove the word oops and combine the spoken phrase with the two lower lines.
Twilight Starr chapter 1 . 11/6/2007
Well written poem. Have a wonderful day.

Twilight Starr
AuraBorealis chapter 1 . 11/6/2007
wow. did you write this about the school shootings in cleveland? nice work
Smoky Bear chapter 1 . 11/5/2007
it's very sad that this happens so often. i think the use of the light-hearted 'oops' as the title highlights the fact. the poem itself is almost a juxtaposition to the title as it is serious and poignant, well done.
creepy kiss on tuesday chapter 1 . 10/29/2007
holy wow. im sorry i took so long to read this (haha this is my other pen name, it's jes.) i love this though. made me think of virginia tech even though the two are kind of un related. i love the beginning about the mixes, because people who do this kind of thing aren't feeling just one thing. and that's what a lot of people get wrong about them. its not just anger or fear or depression that leads people to take such drastic measures.
shadow-of-a-trackless-sea chapter 1 . 10/28/2007
very powerful, and moving. It's so sad but I know that in many cases it is true.
half-sketched.staccatos chapter 1 . 10/24/2007
konban wa

I had two favorite lines/phrases in this one.

[1] "they thought he was *such* an easy target / ((but his gun proved that they were, too))"

[2] "and the only buttons left to push / *were self-destruct and revenge.* / and he did just that."

Beautiful. Heartbreaking. I'm upset at myself that I have to end this unhelpful review right now without leaving any more thoughts. Sorry.

Zaijen

-Shan-
Jeannie-Redd chapter 1 . 10/24/2007
Wow...it's incredibly intense. I like the imagery and flow. Great job.

Jeannie-Redd
vaudeville summers chapter 1 . 10/24/2007
So powerfully tragic. The beginning is very eloquent, but the realism that gradually seeps into the poem is masterfully executed. *applause*

Deanna