|Reviews for Opposite Ends of The Spectrum|
| thegirlbehindyou chapter 30 . 8/28/2012
Hello there :) first off, I want to say that this was a really, really enjoyable read and it's clear that you've put in a lot of effort into it. So thanks for writing such a well-edited, easy-to-read and enjoyable story and sharing it :) Aside from that.. I think you wouldn't mind hearing some kind of feedback on your work.
Although I did state that I liked your story a lot, there were more than a few things in it that bothered me to no end:
characters were belivable, likable and realistic.. But only managed to remin so till halfway into the story. After that, Valentine seemed like he had developed ome kind of multiple personality disorder, Aaron became.. well, a WIMP, and Chris fell easily into the list of characters in your story I simply hated.
2. There was a lot of suspense building up for the greatest part in the story.. It promised something great and exciting to be revealed, but it dragged on for such a painfully long time that it lost its meaning- for one, what was the point of making everything Valentine knew about Aaron so dramatic? Like there was a reason behind it? At the end, it just seemed to be left to the understanding of the reader that he knew so much about her private life only because he was a gossip queen. Ugh.
3. Mattie is an awful, awful, awful hero. And you'll have to excuse my lack of better vocabulary because he left me feeling only that motion and nothing else. Aaron was supposed to be the strong female leas that kicked his ass and out him back into his rightful place- it was even repeated several times in the story through your characters.. But it was all tell and no show. All we saw was Aaron getting more and more and more bullshit from a sexiest jerk and did nothing, absolutely fucking NOTHING about it, all while she was supposed to be the one person who sood up to him.
4. The rushed way you introduced half your characters didn't reflect their importance at all. Cameron and Alyssa both seemed to appear out of thin air in the story, and this would have been okay if they didn't play such a central role in it. Even Angelina, who played a much smaller role, was introduced better than them.
5. Despite all the delaying in the start of the romance between Aaron and Matt, the romance was still rushed. Wayyy too rushed.
6. You have a patronizing way of wriing. Or maybe I should say that about Aaron.. Either way, there is something really off with the narrater's voice that makes the story much less appealing than it deserves to be.
Well.. That's all I guess. Hope you don't take this the wrong way, ie take offense or something. I'm an amature writer myself and I confess I haven't written anything I consider as long and as well pulled together as this, and there was a lot to learn from your writing style. I guess I just got really excited to find something so original and catchy in a place that has some really lame stories, so I showed this interest by attacking it with my whole critical force, lol xD
I think it would make your writing so so much better if you actually tweaked some of the stuff in here and, well, stopped taking negative feedback so.. awfully negatively (it's just the way you seem from your profile xD people attacking you hereis a good sign tust me ;) attention is always good, no? :P)
Happy writing and keep up the good work! :) I'll make sure to stalk you from time to time too
| subtle candor chapter 14 . 8/24/2012
So far what's struck me is the dynamic between Aaron and Matt, and if you were going for a symbiotic or rather parasitic relationship because of the narrators point of view, you've accomplished it astoundingly. Most of my criticism is for Aaron, who's is very irrational and self destructive, but fascinating all the same. Aaron's inner monologue is stark, there's insight to her inner turmoil, but she comes across as passive aggressive despite her character being described as obstinate. The men-brother, Mathew, and father-in her life seem to dictate her actions, regardless of her supposed intelligence and stubbornness to the point of idiocy-ill-informed decisions and that pestering need to get involved without any scruples to where those decisions will lead. Her dependency on Valentine disgust my inner feminist to the point of raging mutiny, but humans are fascinated by the morbid all the same, and I shall read on. Blare doesn't seem capable of being an individual without the threatening presence of Valentine, without him she is stagnate. Aaron despite her environment has the potential to rise above her circumstances yet she doesn't, curious, very curious. Yes she is masochistic-her brother does not give a damn, yet she chases after a loss cause, her mother is a drunkard who terrifies Aaron who supposed to have a backbone. She doesn't seem to know when to let go of a relationship, which is self destructive in and of itself. Then there's Matt from Aaron's pov she seems to take everything at face-value, offering quick judgement then rescinding any decisions she had made in reference to Mathew, which the majority of her world seems to revolve around.
Mathew Valentine seems to be an A class asshole with layers-woah am I amazed. In the fight against his parasite i.e. Aaron, I encountered the paradigm of a sexist-Aaron needing to know her place-chauvinist, and a stoic control freak. Each layer is revealed as he evolves is painstakingly slow, because once again everything is through Aaron's eyes, which offers little insight because her lack of perception, so any conclusions drawn are on unstable foundations at best. His loathing is the narrator is thankfully blatant to her as it is to us, despite her apparent need to constantly seek his verbal, emotionally, mental, and almost physical abuse. Yet his hatred is his Achilles heel, there is a fine line between love and hate and considering what genres this story falls under, that's the eventual conclusion. Yet as much as he disparages Blare he is part of the problem and solution, he thrives off of their parasitic dynamic just as much as the narrator does.
The relationship between Blare and Valentine is unhealthy to the nth degree and I can imagine how the romance shall turn out between them I'm thinking BDSM, laugh.
On the other characters, overall some seem realistic due to the complexity of their hidden motivations or blatant circumstances. Others seem static in their individualism, perhaps this is because of the narrator's pov where everyone is mean because Aaron obviously has a victim complex. There is cruelty in the world, but then there is good and the gray, your characters don't seem to have much of a middle ground yet, but as I read on perhaps the character development will kick into force.
Usually I can give a vague prediction of what will happen in a story, if I'm correct I won't review again, though if there are surprises enough to warrant so I shall write again.
| Darling Deer chapter 30 . 8/24/2012
I keep going back to this story even though I've finished it before. Everytime I read this, I just can't help but cry. I love the characters; Aaron, for being strong but fragile at some times; Valentine, for being hot and cold, even though it's kind of a love/hate feeling for me; and all the others for being kind and cruel and human, no Mary-sues. This is definitely on the top list of my favorite stories.
| Youwishyouknew chapter 6 . 8/20/2012
You make Matthew wayyyyy too mean and arrogant. No one in the whole freaking world would be this cold to anyone, no matter how much they hated each other. Be more realistic here, I can't get into the story because of the unrealistic coldness that a real human being would probably never have. People aren't that cruel yet.
| Dreamer In Alice chapter 30 . 8/18/2012
God, this was such a wonderful story. Now that it's finished, I have that 'what do I do now?' feeling. The beginning was so sad that I cried for Aaron, the middle so full of drama and intense that I couldn't stop reading, and the end so fluffy that I couldn't help but smile. Really, I think it's amazing how you managed to write all of this. You are truly talented.
| Guest chapter 14 . 8/18/2012
wtf is she going after chris for? he left her for goodness sake. can't she just study hard and give herself a good future?! some people just keep making bad decisions! like taking that job at that awful dinner.
| Guest chapter 10 . 8/18/2012
Alyssa is a slut?! lol.
| xcathy chapter 30 . 8/15/2012
This story is one of my absolute favorites. I usually never read dramatic stories just because there's so much going on, but you really pulled it off. You tied everything perfectly on the end. Plus, you really added your own spin to the nerd & popular guy cliche and it was great. I can't wait until your action story comes out, I'll definitely be on the lookout.
| Brittney Bieber chapter 30 . 8/10/2012
in the first few chapters of this story, i can never remember why i liked it, and then i start to kinda like it a little... and then it gets better and better and then i always end up in love with it in the end(: haha it's pretty much fantastic(: You're an amazing writer, and i hope you keep it up!(:
| Guest chapter 23 . 7/22/2012
this is one of my favorite stories on this site!
| Shroudedshadow chapter 2 . 7/22/2012
Such a contrasting personality, cold indifference when need but still a sister who cares about her family (her brother at least).
| Shroudedshadow chapter 1 . 7/22/2012
This is the most original first chapter I ever read. Truly my first time reading such a thing.
| Fresh Harvest chapter 30 . 7/20/2012
Finished reading this yesterday, but wanted to make sure I came back and offered you my thoughts. :) You've mentioned in author's notes that you've received a lot of criticism for this story, but for my part, I was really pleasantly surprised.
I usually prefer happier stories (i.e., ones you wouldn't necessarily categorise as Drama), and I think it's really easy to overdo drama when you try to deal with many serious issues, such as family problems and sob stories. However, I think you handled the many problems affecting your main characters remarkably well; because you had introduced Aaron's family problems from the beginning, and left sufficient hints about others (including Alyssa), I didn't find myself laughing or scoffing in disbelief at the problems your characters faced, but becoming genuinely invested in them. It's difficult to deal with as many serious problems without it coming across as slightly ridiculous, but in your case, I think you managed. It didn't feel like you invented sicknesses, addictions, or other problems as a convenient plot device to drive characters together or squeeze out inauthentic emotions; it felt like you were genuinely seeing characters through difficult times. The reactions also felt realistic to me-Aaron is strong and feisty, but I would've found it questionable if she had gotten through all of the different situations without crying or doubting herself at least once. She was vulnerable, and that made sense.
Another thing is that I pretty much hate, and try to avoid, romances where the premise is that the two main characters formerly hated each other but then fall in love. Jane Austen did this really well in Pride and Prejudice, but I haven't seen a whole lot of success on it since. It's either the initial hatred is so unbelievable (why does she hate him when he's so nice? Why is he in love with her when she's so mean?) or the love that develops seems frustratingly shallow and purely physical. In your case, I was pretty alarmed, because I believed the hatred between Aaron and Matt completely from the beginning-to the point where, several chapters in, I was wondering if you could ever make me like them as a couple. He was so cruel to her, and while she retorted, she had her soft sides, and Matt seemingly never did, even in important moments of crisis for her. Matt seemed so utterly unsympathetic that I thought I would hate him forever.
However, you somehow won me over so that I was totally rooting for them by the end. I think the larger-than-life events helped (hard to keep hating someone who consistently saves your life), and perhaps your story couldn't have done without those. Which is fine; it's a different kind of story than the kind I usually read and/or appreciate. But what I really thought was well-done was how you showed Matt freaking out every time he was being a little softer; it made his progression into admitting his feelings much more natural and real. As Mr. Darcy said of Elizabeth, he wasn't going to rejoice at her family's inferior connexion. And, in this case, it wouldn't have made sense for Matt to be thrilled with the slow-coming revelation that he loved Aaron.
Moving onto characters-I really, really liked Cameron. He was less developed, which makes sense because he was a supporting character, but you completely succeeded in showing what a genuinely good guy he was.
There were a lot of characters here, and several quite complex, but I think you handled them well. Even the transition for Aaron's mother, who initially seems like an absolute villain, to someone who's just broken and trying to change her ways, was believable.
And what really kept me going in the beginning was that, overall, you write well. Hard to follow a story, no matter how good the characterisation is, where the author has trouble sticking to one tense, using correct punctuation, or consistently using the wrong words. If I recall correctly, the thing that threw me off here was your consistently off usage of the word "calamity"-like struggling to maintain calamity in Chapter 16, but it happened often, I think. It would have rather been struggling to maintain composure, or struggling to stay calm, but I don't think calamity's the word that you wanted.
Anyway, really well done overall. :)
P.S. I liked the slow pacing. I always prefer believable romance to immediate action, so kudos to you for sticking with that.
| can't keep quiet chapter 14 . 7/14/2012
jesus christ i have put up with 14 chapters of this, and it's ridiculous. RIDICULOUS. i found the summary line catchy so i followed the link, anxious to read, and now i just-WHAT IS THIS. my reasons:
1. aaron is possibly the worst narrator i've ever seen. sentences are short and choppy and descriptions are dreadfully boring. i might as well have a brick wall narrate this story. aaron is totally static. she justs ACCEPTS everything that happens to her, no thoughts, no emotions, just "oh i got stabbed, oh this guy shoved me up against a wall in the hallway, oh i almost got raped" and her interior monologue is very repetitious and she is often just restating in her head what was just said in dialogue.
2. aaron and matthew have no chemistry? like none whatsoever? he physically harmed her in one of the first chapters and i really can't get that out of my mind, and not in the good way. i just don't understand how that's romantic at all? violence/abuse towards women should not be romanticized at all in any way? and CHRIST, valentine is prone to violence and just because he apologized doesn't mean he won't do it again? this is totally unrealistic, and their banter isn't even banter, it feels like pure hatred that will never be resolved.
3. that's another thing, all the male characters in this story are FORCEFUL, and violent and sexist and incredibly incredibly cruel. like, vinny is vicious, so is mr. peterson, so is cameron and chris and ESPECIALLY VALENTINE?
4. and aaron, she just takes it? LIKE WHAT THE HELL, SHE IS A HUMAN-BEING WITH HER OWN THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS BUT SHE IS AN ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE REPRESENTATION OF THE FEMALE GENDER. all she does is follow orders for men and wait for men to save her from other dangerous men and men are deciding her entire life, and men men men men men rule the world men men men, this is ABSURD.
5. EVERYTHING IN THIS STORY IS HEINOUSLY DRAMATIC. alyssa almost gets date-raped? aaron gets stabbed? like WHAT, and alyssa gets pregnant? and aaron is almost sexually harassed TWICE? i'm sorry what kind of fucked up world are your characters living in? too much theatrics, not enough substantial plot.
i'm sorry but i can't deal with this story, it's AWFUL. you have a wonderful idea but your execution really missed the mark, i'm so sorry this was such a cruel review, i just have a lot of frustration from reading fourteen chapters of it.
keep writing, practice makes perfect and all that. i apologize sincerely again for my rudeness. goodbye xx
| BlueRaccoonAnne chapter 30 . 7/13/2012
This story was amazing. No, not amazing. I can't even describe how much I enjoyed reading this. You are such a wonderful and talented writer, and I can't wait to read more of your stories! **adoring gaze**