Reviews for Outside Castle
b chapter 1 . 12/16/2008
i've never read his dark materials, but the dystopian world you've set this story in makes me want to. it's a compelling reality, and ralph is a heartbreakingly troubled soul; he brings the world to life. i love how you show his pain, the knobs on his back that signify his angel roots, everything. i love how absolutely nothing was explicitly explained and so had to be implied, even will's past.

this is the second time i've read this short and the first time i've understood it. it's a haunting and beautiful work, very real in its dialogue and overall execution.
persimmon chapter 1 . 7/7/2008
It's definitely an odd one, a little strange, but's endearing in a way. Perhaps it would have worked better as a longer chaptered piece, so that ideas like the extermination of the angels and the mystery behind both their families and who these people really are could be explored in more depth, I guess it would have cleared up many of the questions that linger at the end. But still. I like it.
Tatski chapter 1 . 3/6/2008
*sigh* wow that was really...touching, i really like it and the music is really cool!
Queen of Subtle Darkness chapter 1 . 12/20/2007
As I was reading this amazing one-shot. i couldn't help but notice the references to Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials series. I'm sorry if I'm mistaken but it makes me smile. The first obvious reference is obviously Will's name. Then the whole thing about angels. Thank you for writing such a great one-shot btw I loved it..
Amindaya chapter 1 . 11/23/2007
It was a bit confusing, but I still like it. It's one of those stories that's so vague that it's easy to see it from different angles.
firestar267 chapter 1 . 11/19/2007
Aw, the last line just summed this up perfectly. Beautiful. Loved it, well written and well done :)
munchiekins chapter 1 . 11/3/2007
I love the futuristic feeling of this & the kind of suspension of reality the writing here creates. Eh I don't think I can explain it that well. One question though; was his brother an "angel" who was also his lover? Or was his lover an "angel" who was persecuted by his family?

Great writing :]
Lexy-Kun chapter 1 . 10/28/2007
I liked it a lot.

Your story is strange, confusing, yes, as beautiful as horrifying. In this alternative universe, you show humanity at its worst : judgmental, cruel, and violent. Picking on people different from them, deciding that they're "an abomination" and killing them. A face that humanity has showed, shows and will show in every place of the world, countless times throughout history.

Will's family were the ones to break him the news that his lover was killed ? Seeing the way Ralph reminds him of someone, someone he loved, the way he "passed a hand over his lips and felt tainted"... Well, the guy who get killed was considered a pedophile, and feeling tainted is a common symptom of rape victims, but I guess you would feel tainted too if your lover was killed because of your shared love considered as disgusting. Besides, he wouldn't let in someone who reminded him of his rapist, right ? And he probably doesn't want to see his family again, because they thought that the murder of his lover was normal.

Anyway, you also explored one of human's beauty : the way two human beings can heal each other's heart thanks to love.

Your story manages to be both dark, desillusioned and sweet, without being unrealistic. And yet, it's set in a alternative universe ! How paradoxical ! How amazing.

KaleLongsworth chapter 1 . 10/26/2007
I can't really find words to decribe your story. It was so well written and emotional. Good job.
Vera Dicere chapter 1 . 10/26/2007
i really like this piece. there's a very haunting quality to it, with things left only vaguely explained as they are. i really enjoyed the tenuous relationship that built between will and ralph and the way the story developed. it was really interesting.
magalina chapter 1 . 10/26/2007
That was beautiful. So weird...but beautiful :P Glad youre posting again!
katie chapter 1 . 10/26/2007
it's beautiful.

yknow, it reminds me of the his dark materials trilogy... the name 'will parry', angels... erm. well, that's about it actually.

and i love how this is written. from the first sentence, 'Will finds him outside his doorstep one morning, dirty and tired and broken', i was hooked. and everything that follows - the description of ralph, his behaviour, how they slowly learn more about each other - is great too.

oh - and i love the 'ralph is...' part. especially how it shifts from, well, ordinary(-ish) facts like not having a home or a family to:

'Ralph is a complete mystery, and—

Ralph is beautiful.'


'when he looks at the boy, when he thinks about him leaving, flying off' - will was so right. even though he didn't really know it. they're meant to be :]

have to say though, that egg and tuna combo doesn't sound too good.

and will's past is fascinating... his brother was killed after he "molested" boys including his brother, right? although will didn't seem to mind - 'His lips press against another’s, sweet and hungry'...

'A pair of light hazel eyes, sparkling, and a whisper of laughter' - i love this.

i think i'll go read what else you've written now...

but great job on this one :]