|Reviews for Recurring Villains|
| Solemn Coyote chapter 2 . 1/2/2008
Okay, same deal as the last review.
Parts I liked:
-Security devices, recipes, Raken's incredibly relaxed manor when dealing with The Blade, Feldman and the Black Hand, etc. could all become excellent recurring elements.
-The titles for everyone in Raken's organization are brilliant.
-There is a simultaneous feeling of things being very ordinary and very strange at the same time. Somehow, those two feelings don't get in each others way.
Parts I didn't like:
-Ronin is mostly just childish when he's not the Blade. I think there's a lot of potential for comedy there, but it doesn't quite hit my sense of humor as it is. That's not to say it isn't funny. Comedy can be very hit-or-miss, but I just haven't laughed at childish Ronin yet. Everything else, though, has been more or less spot-on.
-That the words leave off here for the time being. Recurring Villains is way more excellent than the first draft, and I regret not reading it until now. Keep writing it, if you're not too busy.
| Solemn Coyote chapter 1 . 1/2/2008
It took me neigh on forever to get to reviewing this. Sorry about the wait. I'll try to keep my review brief.
Things I liked:
-For nearly all of the chapter, your humor was very well-paced. Like, it knew there was a punchline but it was in no hurry to get there. It just went on spinning its story with a slight smile on its face. And, amazingly, the audience didn't get impatient. Very well done.
-Raken is brilliantly easy-going for a villain. It makes his character a lot more likeable, and makes him less of a cat's-paw kind of main character. He actually has a personality and motivation.
-The Crimson Blade is likewise excellent, just as he was in the original.
Things I didn't like:
-You adopted a radically different style when you wrote this for the second time, and some parts of the chapter (particularly those that were taken from the old draft) felt kinda Frankenstein. Like they'd been stitched in, and hadn't quite acclimated to the new, suave way of writing. The same sex movers line was still good, but the random chapter ending it came with felt kinda out of place. Of course, this problem will be resolved as soon as this story gets past where the old one lets off. Which it should do soon, 'cause I like it.
| Cheap Ticket chapter 1 . 11/10/2007
love it. few typos here and there but really, that doesnt matter. it's quite funny, and does develop some sort of plot, which alot of th stories I've read on this site fail to do. I do hope you write more
| Jack Argyle chapter 1 . 10/31/2007
That was very good. Nice and surreal and with lines like:
Raken merely shrugged.
“Don’t shrug at me,” the man said hotly.
you know you're dealing with something a bit out of the ordinary, which is exactly what I enjoy. And enjoy it I did.
| Burnt Bread chapter 1 . 10/31/2007
Heh, a villain’s idea of socializing is to tell the other villain how much they messed up.
typo for frustrated - “Right.” Raken frowned, getting a little frsuterated himself.
The whole thing is very obscure and some of it even non-sensicle. It reminds me a bit of an absurdist play. The one liners and the randomness is very much appreciated, but is there a point? They don't seem villain-y at all - maybe that was the point! Not much to go off, but an instant favourite for me is Ronin, can't go wrong with slightly crazy!
Favourite line: I see you have no eyebrows.
But same sex movers comes close.
| KimHua chapter 1 . 10/29/2007
How... peculiar. :-) But funny. :-) I laughed, anyway...
Should be an interesting story, update soon! :-)